Some pics from this time period....
Generally things are going well. Our communication on the ground is starting to really soar, and we're starting to do some really fun things. Cloud's healthy and we're both happy.
Just as it should be!!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Passage of Time..
We're still working on Circling game issues, but nothing major is coming up. I've taken some lessons with a L3 grad/trainer which have been extremely helpful and bought a new saddle in March (longhorn Wade). We're playing in some L3 ground tasks and L1/2 riding (still). The riding is an up and down struggle for me - it's really good some days, really bad other days. We're not doing a lot of it consistently, which doesn't help at all, but at this point I'd rather not ride and preserve my confidences than ride and lose them.
Major Progress!
Here's a post from the beginning of January, 2007, where I look back and see how far I've come -- it's really fun to look back to this post and realize how far I've come even AFTER that point!
So I've been having a few BFOs lately about Emotional Fittness and thought it would be cool to discuss it! Parelli is really a personal journey - getting a human to turn into a horse, and not the other way around like in most forms of "training". One of the goals for ourselves is this lofty idea of "Emotional Fitness." I always heard the words and understood it as something "good" but I'm just starting to GET it.
When I first started L1, I was really "raw". I had no emotional fitness at all and everything I did (wrong) was frustrating to me. I couldn't make mistakes - my horse couldn't do things wrong (i.e. different to what I had wanted) without me getting angry. I'd take out all my frustrations on my horse, feeling momentarily satisfied but leaving still upset and coming back the next day to find our relationship damaged. We'd make mistakes and I'd be stuck, unable to move on, unable to deal.
The other day, I asked for the circling game, a game I had not yet won, and Cloud did his usual dominating. He ended up crashing through the gate, breaking it. He's done this many times before and I've always been flustered and frustrated and then I'd quit. But this time was suddenly different. For one of the first times ever, I didn't get frustrated with him! I just acted like nothing had happened and worked on getting Cloud LB and SOFT again. I was still frustrated, but I was able to shut off my emotions and just deal with the task in front of me. The result was a preserved relationship. I left Cloud with me in a position of greater respect and the next day he couldn't wait to get near me! Obviously this is progress - now I make mistakes, but I know how to respond in a way that preserves our relationship. I'm hoping that the next step is knowing how to PREVENT problems - but I'm satisfied with this step for now.
It's true - if Cloud had done that during my early days I would have made horsemeat out of him. I would not be able to control myself and we would be in a HUGE mess. I might even have gotten rid of him. So this is a huge improvement from where we were - but looking back on it now I can think of several ways to have prevented the problem altogether - so that we didn't have to GO there. That's exactly where I knew I would be eventually - and it's so cool to know that I've finally made it!
So I've been having a few BFOs lately about Emotional Fittness and thought it would be cool to discuss it! Parelli is really a personal journey - getting a human to turn into a horse, and not the other way around like in most forms of "training". One of the goals for ourselves is this lofty idea of "Emotional Fitness." I always heard the words and understood it as something "good" but I'm just starting to GET it.
When I first started L1, I was really "raw". I had no emotional fitness at all and everything I did (wrong) was frustrating to me. I couldn't make mistakes - my horse couldn't do things wrong (i.e. different to what I had wanted) without me getting angry. I'd take out all my frustrations on my horse, feeling momentarily satisfied but leaving still upset and coming back the next day to find our relationship damaged. We'd make mistakes and I'd be stuck, unable to move on, unable to deal.
The other day, I asked for the circling game, a game I had not yet won, and Cloud did his usual dominating. He ended up crashing through the gate, breaking it. He's done this many times before and I've always been flustered and frustrated and then I'd quit. But this time was suddenly different. For one of the first times ever, I didn't get frustrated with him! I just acted like nothing had happened and worked on getting Cloud LB and SOFT again. I was still frustrated, but I was able to shut off my emotions and just deal with the task in front of me. The result was a preserved relationship. I left Cloud with me in a position of greater respect and the next day he couldn't wait to get near me! Obviously this is progress - now I make mistakes, but I know how to respond in a way that preserves our relationship. I'm hoping that the next step is knowing how to PREVENT problems - but I'm satisfied with this step for now.
It's true - if Cloud had done that during my early days I would have made horsemeat out of him. I would not be able to control myself and we would be in a HUGE mess. I might even have gotten rid of him. So this is a huge improvement from where we were - but looking back on it now I can think of several ways to have prevented the problem altogether - so that we didn't have to GO there. That's exactly where I knew I would be eventually - and it's so cool to know that I've finally made it!
A Little Taste of HEAVEN
Ah.. our first attempt at bridleless riding!
Christmas Eve, 2006
Christmas Eve, 2006
Today we tasted our first bit of bridleless riding!!!!!!! YAY! It was absolutely amazing - No wonder Pat does so much of it!
We didn't actually go "naked" - Cloud had a bridle on - but we only had it as a "safety net" and didn't use it at all. I used my two carrot sticks and -man- it was great. I really GOT the idea of looking with your bellybutton, and I was surprised at how light Cloud was! The coolest part of it all was figuring out how to stop -- at first, I released my energy but nothing happened and I immediately went for the reins. But after a little while, I realized I could do lateral flexion even WITHOUT touching the reins and that worked beautifully!!! In one session, we "got" forwards, backwards, stop, turn and spin - really good for our first try ever! I'm so happy I'm floating!!!! We've come so FAR in these couple years!
(If you'll please excuse me, I just really have to do this...)
YIPPPEEEEEEEE!!!!
Looking at Other Trainers...
Post from mid-November, just after I came back from Equine Affaire...
Hi all!
Well, I spent the past 4 days practically living at Equine Affaire, but I'm home now! I had a really great time and I bought a ton of great stuff, too! The clinics, I felt, were a bit sub-par compared to other years, but I did find my way into a Kenny Harlow clinic on "Rearing, Bucking and Spinning, Gaining Control in Potentially Dangerous Situations" because Cloud's, well, been a little, um, bucking. I know it's just LB bordom, but I wanted some insight on how to quickly gain control. Up till this point, I'd never heard of Kenny Harlow. Man was I in for a treat!!
I'd been to another "natural" clinic and, while the lady had some good ideas, she was dry as toast. I mean, falling-asleep-I'm-so-bored dry. This guy though, Mr. Harlow, was really fun to watch. He was dynamic - always asking if we (the audience) had questions, treating everything as a game, lots of stuff -- it was a blast! Anyway, he was demonstrating preparation for riding techniques. Now, let me back up to say that, although Cloud and I are doing really well and advancing well on the ground, we're not doing well riding. I mean, I can trail ride and everything, but FQ, HQ and lateral (sideways) movements have been almost impossible. Cloud never got them and I didn't know how to teach him. Anyway, Mr. Harlow was demonstrating how to prepare your horse for those movements from the ground, using only the bit.
He's a really natural guy -- refuses to use anything harsher than a snaffle, able to calm spooky horses in a single bound, treats everything as a game (Yesterday, he had the horse's owner get on and learn what he was doing. Once they were good with that, he galloped over to her, whacked her on the back, said "you're it" and galloped off!! It was so funny!!) -- and what he was doing just made sense to me. So much so that I went to his session today for preparation, took lots of notes, and then headed to the barn. It was a ... COMPLETE SUCESS! Funny how things just click like that. Cloud was totally interested, learning and we had a GREAT riding session; although most of it was on the ground.
Now, I belive Mr. Harlow is a traditional cowboy in his groundwork techniques.. roundpenning and the like.. but in preparing for riding, the guy knows his stuff! But don't worry, I'm not changing camps! I don't think I could have understood it without my background in PNH -- or at least I wouldn't have been so sucessful. And I don't think he provides such a complete foundation as PNH. What I thought was cool was that I'm getting Savvy enough to know what can work and what will confuse my horse -- not that I'm there yet, but I think there's hope for me!
The other thing I learned at EA: NO ONE is as well-rounded as P&L! I went to a saddle fitting demo and the guy was explaining things very similiarly to P&L -- but this guy dosn't train, teach, investigate feeding programs, learn about learning, teach about fear, &c, &c, &c. There are lots of people who SPECIALIZE in one of those areas, but I've never seen another person who can do it all at once! Very cool!!!
Hi all!
Well, I spent the past 4 days practically living at Equine Affaire, but I'm home now! I had a really great time and I bought a ton of great stuff, too! The clinics, I felt, were a bit sub-par compared to other years, but I did find my way into a Kenny Harlow clinic on "Rearing, Bucking and Spinning, Gaining Control in Potentially Dangerous Situations" because Cloud's, well, been a little, um, bucking. I know it's just LB bordom, but I wanted some insight on how to quickly gain control. Up till this point, I'd never heard of Kenny Harlow. Man was I in for a treat!!
I'd been to another "natural" clinic and, while the lady had some good ideas, she was dry as toast. I mean, falling-asleep-I'm-so-bored dry. This guy though, Mr. Harlow, was really fun to watch. He was dynamic - always asking if we (the audience) had questions, treating everything as a game, lots of stuff -- it was a blast! Anyway, he was demonstrating preparation for riding techniques. Now, let me back up to say that, although Cloud and I are doing really well and advancing well on the ground, we're not doing well riding. I mean, I can trail ride and everything, but FQ, HQ and lateral (sideways) movements have been almost impossible. Cloud never got them and I didn't know how to teach him. Anyway, Mr. Harlow was demonstrating how to prepare your horse for those movements from the ground, using only the bit.
He's a really natural guy -- refuses to use anything harsher than a snaffle, able to calm spooky horses in a single bound, treats everything as a game (Yesterday, he had the horse's owner get on and learn what he was doing. Once they were good with that, he galloped over to her, whacked her on the back, said "you're it" and galloped off!! It was so funny!!) -- and what he was doing just made sense to me. So much so that I went to his session today for preparation, took lots of notes, and then headed to the barn. It was a ... COMPLETE SUCESS! Funny how things just click like that. Cloud was totally interested, learning and we had a GREAT riding session; although most of it was on the ground.
Now, I belive Mr. Harlow is a traditional cowboy in his groundwork techniques.. roundpenning and the like.. but in preparing for riding, the guy knows his stuff! But don't worry, I'm not changing camps! I don't think I could have understood it without my background in PNH -- or at least I wouldn't have been so sucessful. And I don't think he provides such a complete foundation as PNH. What I thought was cool was that I'm getting Savvy enough to know what can work and what will confuse my horse -- not that I'm there yet, but I think there's hope for me!
The other thing I learned at EA: NO ONE is as well-rounded as P&L! I went to a saddle fitting demo and the guy was explaining things very similiarly to P&L -- but this guy dosn't train, teach, investigate feeding programs, learn about learning, teach about fear, &c, &c, &c. There are lots of people who SPECIALIZE in one of those areas, but I've never seen another person who can do it all at once! Very cool!!!
Breakthrough Day
This is what happens when PNH starts talking about LB horses after previously never mentioning them: Breakthrough!!
5 November 2006
Just wanted to share my good day. It's been a while that I can say I had a genuinely good day; for the past couple of weeks, things have been kinda lackluster -- you know, just *OK*. Cloud's been bucking again when I ride and he wasn't *playing* with me -- he'd do anything I asked, but he wasn't into it. I don't have the L&HB course yet (and won't for a while) so I wasn't sure what to do.. but the I got my Savvy Times and read and re-read the LB horse article and GOT it!! I knew Cloud was bored, but I didn't know how to fix it.. we were in a rut and we needed to get out - just didn't know how.
The article had a couple great things in it (I mean, the whole thing was great, but some things really *stuck*). One thing was that LB horses are really food motivated (which I knew -- gee, how I knew!) and it suggested using it to our advantage OK - that's easy enough! The other thing was that circles, arena work, routines, &c was NOT a good idea, and it suggested trail rides. Those two things really jumped out at me. (lick, chew) So what did I realize?? I was bored with the games, too! I didn't have any interest in "put your nose on" or in circling game or whatever. I was just doing it because that's what PNHers do! If my horse is my mirror (which he is) than no wonder he's bored!!
So I had my first attempt on Thursday: The first thing I did was break out the cookies!! The second thing was to set up the arena. (can't change too fast, you know) I put cookies on everything - then I got Cloud. We did the same routine, even though I tried to do it differently.. but that was all that was routine! We got into the ring and started playing. The game had changed. It wasn't the "put your nose on.." game we were so bored of anymore - it was "go find the cookie!" Cloud got so into it and we had a great time -- he was tuning in and asking questions and having FUN. We ended up playing at Liberty for a long time and he stayed right with me finding the cookies!! Then we rode and did the same thing from horseback till I ran out of cookies. It was a good day, but not the best .. and I was still a little discouraged.
But today was great!! He came to me in pasture, which he'd been doing.. but today he was interested!! We didn't go into the arena ONCE - not at all - even though I missed my routine!! We found a puddle in the driveway and played in that. Cloud's not a big fan of water -- he'll go through it if you make him, but he's never happy about it. But today was different -- it really wasn't about going through the water! I really understood the meaning of "separate and recombine"!! We worked one step at a time -- the goal wasn't to cross the puddle, it was to take small steps and put his foot in the *deep* parts -- instead of jumping or steeeeppping over it. We took it really slow. I felt like I was being direct-line a couple times, but for the most part I was reading him -- focusing with MY whole body and relaxing at key moments. I was interesting -- when he thought I was going to force him through, I relaxed and played Friendly -- or I gave him a cookie (I keep LOTS in my pockets at all times now) and he was TOTALLY FOCUSED!! His ears were up and he was constantly asking questions! What really surprised me was that we didn't spend a lot of time on the puddle. I'm really predatory like that -- when it's good I want to push it, but today I did a lot of retreating and leaving. We took 3 different "stabs" at it, and made HUGE progress!!
Then, to make things better, I even got to ride!! For the first time in a long time, Cloud stayed perfectly still when I saddled and even stood still when I mounted -- stopping and asking for directions!! I made sure I had a lot of cookies in my pockets and gave him one sometimes when I asked for lateral flexion -- and it made him more interested in giving it to me!! (Darn, Linda actually *knows* what she's talking about!) We rode all around - outside!! Not in a boring arena, but outside in strange places! And I was so proud of myself that I didn't ask for higher gaits, even though I wanted to. We really ended everything on a good note!!
Then.. I turned him out and we played at Liberty -- really playing! He ran around with me and stopped and turned and we were totally having fun!!! It was the best feeling EVER. More cookies and scratches and then I left.
I'm just totally happy to have gotten this far!! To be happy and in true harmony! One thing I noticed that was AWESOME was that Cloud and I have always gone through these "down" spots -- where we're not doing great, disappointed, dissatisfied -- and they've always lasted a while (a year ago, they could last upwards of a month!) but this "down" patch only lasted a couple weeks -- and it NEVER got as bad as some of the other ones have. It used to be so aweful that I'd consider selling him; he'd be attacking me and I'd be frustrated beyond belief. But the further we progress, the less often and less severe these spots are!! I'm just so happy!!!!!
Thanks for reading and letting me share!
Sarah & Cloud
5 November 2006
Just wanted to share my good day. It's been a while that I can say I had a genuinely good day; for the past couple of weeks, things have been kinda lackluster -- you know, just *OK*. Cloud's been bucking again when I ride and he wasn't *playing* with me -- he'd do anything I asked, but he wasn't into it. I don't have the L&HB course yet (and won't for a while) so I wasn't sure what to do.. but the I got my Savvy Times and read and re-read the LB horse article and GOT it!! I knew Cloud was bored, but I didn't know how to fix it.. we were in a rut and we needed to get out - just didn't know how.
The article had a couple great things in it (I mean, the whole thing was great, but some things really *stuck*). One thing was that LB horses are really food motivated (which I knew -- gee, how I knew!) and it suggested using it to our advantage OK - that's easy enough! The other thing was that circles, arena work, routines, &c was NOT a good idea, and it suggested trail rides. Those two things really jumped out at me. (lick, chew) So what did I realize?? I was bored with the games, too! I didn't have any interest in "put your nose on" or in circling game or whatever. I was just doing it because that's what PNHers do! If my horse is my mirror (which he is) than no wonder he's bored!!
So I had my first attempt on Thursday: The first thing I did was break out the cookies!! The second thing was to set up the arena. (can't change too fast, you know) I put cookies on everything - then I got Cloud. We did the same routine, even though I tried to do it differently.. but that was all that was routine! We got into the ring and started playing. The game had changed. It wasn't the "put your nose on.." game we were so bored of anymore - it was "go find the cookie!" Cloud got so into it and we had a great time -- he was tuning in and asking questions and having FUN. We ended up playing at Liberty for a long time and he stayed right with me finding the cookies!! Then we rode and did the same thing from horseback till I ran out of cookies. It was a good day, but not the best .. and I was still a little discouraged.
But today was great!! He came to me in pasture, which he'd been doing.. but today he was interested!! We didn't go into the arena ONCE - not at all - even though I missed my routine!! We found a puddle in the driveway and played in that. Cloud's not a big fan of water -- he'll go through it if you make him, but he's never happy about it. But today was different -- it really wasn't about going through the water! I really understood the meaning of "separate and recombine"!! We worked one step at a time -- the goal wasn't to cross the puddle, it was to take small steps and put his foot in the *deep* parts -- instead of jumping or steeeeppping over it. We took it really slow. I felt like I was being direct-line a couple times, but for the most part I was reading him -- focusing with MY whole body and relaxing at key moments. I was interesting -- when he thought I was going to force him through, I relaxed and played Friendly -- or I gave him a cookie (I keep LOTS in my pockets at all times now) and he was TOTALLY FOCUSED!! His ears were up and he was constantly asking questions! What really surprised me was that we didn't spend a lot of time on the puddle. I'm really predatory like that -- when it's good I want to push it, but today I did a lot of retreating and leaving. We took 3 different "stabs" at it, and made HUGE progress!!
Then, to make things better, I even got to ride!! For the first time in a long time, Cloud stayed perfectly still when I saddled and even stood still when I mounted -- stopping and asking for directions!! I made sure I had a lot of cookies in my pockets and gave him one sometimes when I asked for lateral flexion -- and it made him more interested in giving it to me!! (Darn, Linda actually *knows* what she's talking about!) We rode all around - outside!! Not in a boring arena, but outside in strange places! And I was so proud of myself that I didn't ask for higher gaits, even though I wanted to. We really ended everything on a good note!!
Then.. I turned him out and we played at Liberty -- really playing! He ran around with me and stopped and turned and we were totally having fun!!! It was the best feeling EVER. More cookies and scratches and then I left.
I'm just totally happy to have gotten this far!! To be happy and in true harmony! One thing I noticed that was AWESOME was that Cloud and I have always gone through these "down" spots -- where we're not doing great, disappointed, dissatisfied -- and they've always lasted a while (a year ago, they could last upwards of a month!) but this "down" patch only lasted a couple weeks -- and it NEVER got as bad as some of the other ones have. It used to be so aweful that I'd consider selling him; he'd be attacking me and I'd be frustrated beyond belief. But the further we progress, the less often and less severe these spots are!! I'm just so happy!!!!!
Thanks for reading and letting me share!
Sarah & Cloud
Little Learning Moments
Exerpts from posts with minor little BFOs...
19 October 2007:
For example, he's always been so resistant to jumping barrels. He'd just crash through them, and it's impossible to keep him learning while we stop and reset the barrels; we'd stop and reset, then he'd crash through again. IMPOSSIBLE, or so I thought. The other day, I asked for help. I had a friend reset the barrels for us while Cloud was circling. At first, he just crashed through again. Then he got confused - these things keep resetting!! Then he got resistant: I don't care if you do have magical powers and can reset these things - I'm not going over them! Finally, though, he relented: OK, whatever, I'll jump them. SUCCESS! But it's nothing I could have ever done by myself, so it really forced me to ask for help.
20 October 2008
I know for me (and this is not advice, because I know nothing about your situation!), though, it was always a sign that we weren't spending enough undemanding time with eachother. That was a hard thing to learn for me.. and I'm still learning it.. but it's getting easier with practice. On good days, I'll just go up and sit in his pasture to do my homework. Obstacles weren't enough for us - Cloud needs to not always DO stuff with me. He just needs to hang out sometimes!
19 October 2007:
For example, he's always been so resistant to jumping barrels. He'd just crash through them, and it's impossible to keep him learning while we stop and reset the barrels; we'd stop and reset, then he'd crash through again. IMPOSSIBLE, or so I thought. The other day, I asked for help. I had a friend reset the barrels for us while Cloud was circling. At first, he just crashed through again. Then he got confused - these things keep resetting!! Then he got resistant: I don't care if you do have magical powers and can reset these things - I'm not going over them! Finally, though, he relented: OK, whatever, I'll jump them. SUCCESS! But it's nothing I could have ever done by myself, so it really forced me to ask for help.
20 October 2008
I know for me (and this is not advice, because I know nothing about your situation!), though, it was always a sign that we weren't spending enough undemanding time with eachother. That was a hard thing to learn for me.. and I'm still learning it.. but it's getting easier with practice. On good days, I'll just go up and sit in his pasture to do my homework. Obstacles weren't enough for us - Cloud needs to not always DO stuff with me. He just needs to hang out sometimes!
Fall, LHB and our Driving (mis)Adventures!
Fall is in the air!
We've been doing PNH for two years now and are nearly finished with L2 groundw
ork. Riding is a different story, but we're making progress. After MONTHS of saddle problems and shipping issues, we finally have a saddle that fits pretty well and are doing *some* riding, but neither of us are really confident. Cloud is such a LBI - and found out very quickly how to push my buttons and make me frightened enough to quit. The pattern went - push my buttons once, find out it works, keep doing it for 2 - 6 weeks until I learned how to solve the problem, then find a new problem. Fun. The good thing is that I really learned how to ride from scratch - and on my own, which is the best way for a LBI like myself to learn! It really sticks with me this way - and that's good.
September is always an exciting time on the Forum because that's the time of the Savvy Conference in Colorado, and a lot of people from the Forum go there. They have wi-fi in their hotels and post pics and keep us all updated as the weekend progresses, so those of us on the Forum are often the first to know anything that goes on at PNH HQ. Very exciting! This September marked the dawning of a new era on the Forum itself - Richard, our beloved although somewhat overbearing Moderator, left and was replaced by a group of moderators - and the passing of the mouse was a bit trying at times, but we all survived unscathed.
September also marked the release of the latest PNH product: The Liberty and Horse Behaviour pack!! This was an exciting day - especially for those of us with LB horses - because *finally* for the first time in my Parelli journey, people in control were beginning to talk about LB issues and finally treat LB horses as a worthwhile conversation piece. Yay! As with every new PNH product release, there was the inevevitable battle about cost and the pricing of the LHB was a subject of minute discourse for months following. I personally couldn't afford it until Spring of 2007, but it was so worth the wait! More on it later, though!
We've been doing PNH for two years now and are nearly finished with L2 groundw
ork. Riding is a different story, but we're making progress. After MONTHS of saddle problems and shipping issues, we finally have a saddle that fits pretty well and are doing *some* riding, but neither of us are really confident. Cloud is such a LBI - and found out very quickly how to push my buttons and make me frightened enough to quit. The pattern went - push my buttons once, find out it works, keep doing it for 2 - 6 weeks until I learned how to solve the problem, then find a new problem. Fun. The good thing is that I really learned how to ride from scratch - and on my own, which is the best way for a LBI like myself to learn! It really sticks with me this way - and that's good.September is always an exciting time on the Forum because that's the time of the Savvy Conference in Colorado, and a lot of people from the Forum go there. They have wi-fi in their hotels and post pics and keep us all updated as the weekend progresses, so those of us on the Forum are often the first to know anything that goes on at PNH HQ. Very exciting! This September marked the dawning of a new era on the Forum itself - Richard, our beloved although somewhat overbearing Moderator, left and was replaced by a group of moderators - and the passing of the mouse was a bit trying at times, but we all survived unscathed.
September also marked the release of the latest PNH product: The Liberty and Horse Behaviour pack!! This was an exciting day - especially for those of us with LB horses - because *finally* for the first time in my Parelli journey, people in control were beginning to talk about LB issues and finally treat LB horses as a worthwhile conversation piece. Yay! As with every new PNH product release, there was the inevevitable battle about cost and the pricing of the LHB was a subject of minute discourse for months following. I personally couldn't afford it until Spring of 2007, but it was so worth the wait! More on it later, though!
Fall also marked the beginning of my infatuation with driving (the equine version). Well, I was actually quite afraid of driving. I think I latched onto it like I did because if I drove I wouldn't have to ride - but I'd still be doing something "real" with my horse. You know, not like stupid ground stuff!
I bought a cart and harness and spent several months behind my horse driving him all over the place (sans cart) - dealing with the frustrations of grass and puddles and getting severely tangled in the ropes. Cloud was a good sport, as always, and we progressed quite quickly - although I purposefully took things slower than we had to... just to be safe. It was quite fun, putting the games to a purpose like that. Cloud likes having a JOB - something definitive he can do. So driving was fun for him. We spent a lot of time dragging tires and logs and tarps all around the yard and arena (and impressing the heck out of the big name reining trainer who had taken over the barn!) -- yay!
Eventually we hooked up the cart and spent a lot of time with me still on the ground teaching Cloud to move and turn and stop. Things were going really well; he was calm, confident and we were having a bit of fun (well, the grass-diving wasn't very fun, but everything else went well!). I was still afraid of actually riding in the cart, but that was OK. We took walks down the road, down the path.. it was nice and relaxing.
Then one day we were practicing outside while the reiners practiced in the arena. Everything went swimmingly, so as soon as the reiners left for lunch, I brought Cloud into the arena and figured we'd practice a little bit and then I'd go for my first actual drive! Things were going well - he was light and responsive - and I almost got in, but for some reason didn't. Then he got the shaft stuck on the fencing and panicked. He reared up, broke the right shaft and went galloping away, pulling the cart by just one shaft, so that he ended up going sideways across the arena -- right towards a galvanized steel gate. He didn't stop and tried to jump out of the arena, breaking the rest of the cart and thoroughly smashing the gate as he did so (including ripping a wood panel off the arena wall). Finally free of the cart, and with his broken harness dangling behind him, Cloud ran out the barn door and (thankfully) turned towards the woods and
not the road. I ran after him and found him munching on some grass, the last remnants of his harness safely off his body. He let me catch him and put him away while I went to find the barn owner to apologise and see how much my bill would be. $450 later (not including the cost of fixing the cart and harness), we were all settled, but boy that was embarrassing and TERRIFYING. I can only imagine what it would have been like if I *had* gotten into the cart when I though about it. Someone was keeping me safe that day - and I'm thankful for it!So that pretty much ended our driving adventures. I figured that riding is actually much safer - at least there's never anything dragging behind you - and decided I'd stick to that.
Probably a good idea!
More Positives.. Why I love Parelli:
What I love about Parelli...well I could write all day on that! I'll try to keep it short, though.
1. That it's doable. I've read a lot of GREAT, awesome, inspiring books about natural technques, but Parelli is the only one that dosn't leave me saying: "That's nice, but how in the WORLD could I do it?" It's step by step, and it's so easy to remember; all of Pat's phrases work so well!! Not to mention....
2. The support it endless! If we don't get it from the STEP BY STEP program, we can go to the archives of questions. If that dosn't help, we can go to a Savvy Club DVD or Magazine. If that dosn't help, we can go to a 2 star instructor, then a 3 star, then a 4 star, then a 5 star, then to Pat and Linda themselves! And not just support w/ tasks, but emotional support from the forum.
3. Everyone's so nice. I LOVE talking to the Parelli support team (the ones who answer the phones)!!! They are so polite and so encouraging and just great!! It really makes my day when I can call them up! And the people here on the Forum - top notch!!
4. It works. It's turned my horse into a different person! I can't tell you how much I'm satisfied! Not just with horses, but with people and with dogs and with children!! I can't tell you how many times I couldn't understand a BIBLICAL concept until (suddenly) it would hit me: "Oh, it's like the Circling Game!" [Talk about a wierd religion!!] And those are just a few of the reasons!!!
1. That it's doable. I've read a lot of GREAT, awesome, inspiring books about natural technques, but Parelli is the only one that dosn't leave me saying: "That's nice, but how in the WORLD could I do it?" It's step by step, and it's so easy to remember; all of Pat's phrases work so well!! Not to mention....
2. The support it endless! If we don't get it from the STEP BY STEP program, we can go to the archives of questions. If that dosn't help, we can go to a Savvy Club DVD or Magazine. If that dosn't help, we can go to a 2 star instructor, then a 3 star, then a 4 star, then a 5 star, then to Pat and Linda themselves! And not just support w/ tasks, but emotional support from the forum.
3. Everyone's so nice. I LOVE talking to the Parelli support team (the ones who answer the phones)!!! They are so polite and so encouraging and just great!! It really makes my day when I can call them up! And the people here on the Forum - top notch!!
4. It works. It's turned my horse into a different person! I can't tell you how much I'm satisfied! Not just with horses, but with people and with dogs and with children!! I can't tell you how many times I couldn't understand a BIBLICAL concept until (suddenly) it would hit me: "Oh, it's like the Circling Game!" [Talk about a wierd religion!!] And those are just a few of the reasons!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
My Horse is a Puzzle Solver!!
Just wanted to encourage y'all with this awesome acheivement.
I was bathing Cloud the other day (that in itself being impossible BP - before Parelli). He was loosely tied to the Round Pen - just enough that he didn't wander all over creation in search of grass while still allowing access to food. He had 9' or so of slack; the rope was dragging on the ground. As he was grazing, he stepped over the lead. No big deal, right?
Then came my worst nightmare - he turned around, the lead under his belly and holding his HQ in a vise next to the corral pannel. He started to resist and I started envisioning him falling, breaking something, blood, putting him down... the works. But then, all of a sudden, as if figuring out a puzzle, Cloud relaxed and yielded his hindquarters, thus aleviating the pressure. He immediately calmed down and went back to grazing!
I was floored. I mean, I'd heard stories about this before, but I couldn't believe I'd get to see it happen first hand. I know that this would not be possible if Cloud hadn't learned Game #2. You know, it's nice to have a horse that goes into trailers without being forced, who accepts shots and the farrier without a fuss or who can be ridden anywhere over anything, but it's so much better to see him go left brained in a situation when staying right brained would have killed him. That is the ultimate way of putting games to a purpose!
Thank you Pat and Linda!! I couldn't have done it without you!
I was bathing Cloud the other day (that in itself being impossible BP - before Parelli). He was loosely tied to the Round Pen - just enough that he didn't wander all over creation in search of grass while still allowing access to food. He had 9' or so of slack; the rope was dragging on the ground. As he was grazing, he stepped over the lead. No big deal, right?
Then came my worst nightmare - he turned around, the lead under his belly and holding his HQ in a vise next to the corral pannel. He started to resist and I started envisioning him falling, breaking something, blood, putting him down... the works. But then, all of a sudden, as if figuring out a puzzle, Cloud relaxed and yielded his hindquarters, thus aleviating the pressure. He immediately calmed down and went back to grazing!
I was floored. I mean, I'd heard stories about this before, but I couldn't believe I'd get to see it happen first hand. I know that this would not be possible if Cloud hadn't learned Game #2. You know, it's nice to have a horse that goes into trailers without being forced, who accepts shots and the farrier without a fuss or who can be ridden anywhere over anything, but it's so much better to see him go left brained in a situation when staying right brained would have killed him. That is the ultimate way of putting games to a purpose!
Thank you Pat and Linda!! I couldn't have done it without you!
Finally - A Bad Day to Post About!
Never thought I'd say THAT...
"Bad Day Today"
Just bad. Haven't been to see him in 10 days, finally had a chance and I needed to trim his feet. Got there, got him. He wouldn't stand to have his feet done. Kept moving around. OK.
Played with him instead. Didn't go well. We're still having trouble with our circling game and today was really bad. He ended up pulling me over and dragging me. Was more careful about bracing myself. Charged at me a couple of times, ears pinned, and tried to stallion-stomp me. Never had that happen before. Came 2' from kicking me. Ears pinned a lot. Just really bad.
Finally came to a semi-good note to call it quits, but I'm really discouraged. Granted, I should have known better. He's always like this when he hasn't seen me in a while - and who can blame him? And it was the end of the day; he was hungry. And I have had a really frustrating week at work and school. And our circling game has always been our hardest. And, and, and.
So I don't know why I didn't see it coming. But I'm still frustrated. I think I need to get some help so that I'll have some more 'arrows' to deal with all this. I've e-mailed a few people already. But I'm still frustrated. It's so hard to only have 1 day a week, max to spend with him. School and work are so hectic, though. It all comes at once, dosn't it? Sorry for venting, but y'all are like family. I know you'll understand.
** Glad to see some signs of emotional progress... problems are now certainly my fault for misreading, misdoing, &c - instead of entirely Cloud's fault. Also good to see a "bad day" that compared to my early stuff isn't bad at ALL. All about the moment, isn't it?! Neat!
Bareback PPL --- and A Surprise!!!
Funny Story..
Well, just wanted to share what happened today - maybe other's have been there. We went for a ride today and were working on Pushing Passenger. I was reveling in it - we never got a chance to do PP before moving to this barn and I really like how relaxing, fun and free it is.
This was only our second ride in the round corral and it was a big improvement from last time. [Last time, Cloud realized that it made me nervous when he walked close enough to the rail to scrape me off. Needless to say, we worked a lot on comfort/discomfort on that and today it was *much* better!]
Anyway, I was enjoying the ride, totally in harmony, and loving the bareback pad (it was a *great* buy!). I was trying to do it right - look where he looks, bend when he bends, stop when he stops & then go again. I knew how annoying it is for me to keep bugging him when he puts his head down to graze, so I tried to be good about it. I was *determined* to remain a Passenger until after he stopped and to *not* pester or annoy him. So, when he put his head down, I simply put mine down too. It's really nice to be in harmony! He walked around with his nose down for some time until -
- He got down on his knees to roll!!! Imagine my surprise! I had thought he was grazing, and here he was preparing to roll. But there wasn't time for shock - this horse was rolling whether I was there to break his fall or not. My biggest concern was that I get my leg out from where he was going to go - a broken leg would have been *so* inconvenient - and then roll out of his way.
Fortunately all went according to plan and I'm fine. Cloud was very disappointed that (after all that) he didn't get to roll, but I didn't want my $250 pad ruined! Looking back on it, though, I'm so impressed with myself that I didn't flip out or get scared. After all I've been through, I spook easily - but this didn't even phase me! It was just another extention, more or less, of the PP lesson. Really, it was kind of fun! (OK, I wouldn't want to do it every day, but it was kinda cool... )
((Too funny!!))
Well, just wanted to share what happened today - maybe other's have been there. We went for a ride today and were working on Pushing Passenger. I was reveling in it - we never got a chance to do PP before moving to this barn and I really like how relaxing, fun and free it is.
This was only our second ride in the round corral and it was a big improvement from last time. [Last time, Cloud realized that it made me nervous when he walked close enough to the rail to scrape me off. Needless to say, we worked a lot on comfort/discomfort on that and today it was *much* better!]
Anyway, I was enjoying the ride, totally in harmony, and loving the bareback pad (it was a *great* buy!). I was trying to do it right - look where he looks, bend when he bends, stop when he stops & then go again. I knew how annoying it is for me to keep bugging him when he puts his head down to graze, so I tried to be good about it. I was *determined* to remain a Passenger until after he stopped and to *not* pester or annoy him. So, when he put his head down, I simply put mine down too. It's really nice to be in harmony! He walked around with his nose down for some time until -
- He got down on his knees to roll!!! Imagine my surprise! I had thought he was grazing, and here he was preparing to roll. But there wasn't time for shock - this horse was rolling whether I was there to break his fall or not. My biggest concern was that I get my leg out from where he was going to go - a broken leg would have been *so* inconvenient - and then roll out of his way.
Fortunately all went according to plan and I'm fine. Cloud was very disappointed that (after all that) he didn't get to roll, but I didn't want my $250 pad ruined! Looking back on it, though, I'm so impressed with myself that I didn't flip out or get scared. After all I've been through, I spook easily - but this didn't even phase me! It was just another extention, more or less, of the PP lesson. Really, it was kind of fun! (OK, I wouldn't want to do it every day, but it was kinda cool... )
((Too funny!!))
Ah.. A Positive Post!
What Have You Learned from Your Horse??
I learned that if I'm Alpha, Cloud won't even *think* about going for food. ("You never know when that 'horse' is going to get me!")
The second I started to get - and keep - his interest and attention, the grass dives stopped. Hmmm, how interesting. I'm learning the beauty of lightness. I rode the other day and, thanks to this new SC DVD, Cloud went when I (only) brought my life up!!! No spurs or crop needed, he went off at phase one. It was so light and beautiful. Now I need to stop bracing to stop and he'll be even better than he is now.
I'm learning the awesomeness of having a half-ton animal canter to you and *want* to be with you. It's so incredible to have their mind, and not just their body. To be able to turn him loose in a 60x120 arena and have him stay in a 12' circle around me is incredible. And to see his fire come up and have him offer play.
I'm learning the importance of controling my emotions - and I'm even making progress. Just a few months ago, I'd get frustrated and take it out on Cloud. Today, I still get frustrated, but I've been simply stoping and ending on a good note - then kicking the crap out of a bucket somewhere my horse can't see me. I'm looking forward to the day I won't get frustrated.
I'm learning to put the relationship first - above everything else. To truely 'take the time it takes' and work through problems in a way that makes our relationship stronger - not weaker. I'm learning to find creative solutions and excercises. To look outside the box and find what works. To have a plan and stick to it unless I shouldn't, and to recognise which I should do. My horse is my biggest teacher - he's teaching me more every day.
The most important thing he's taught me: Keep learning, always.
I learned that if I'm Alpha, Cloud won't even *think* about going for food. ("You never know when that 'horse' is going to get me!")
The second I started to get - and keep - his interest and attention, the grass dives stopped. Hmmm, how interesting. I'm learning the beauty of lightness. I rode the other day and, thanks to this new SC DVD, Cloud went when I (only) brought my life up!!! No spurs or crop needed, he went off at phase one. It was so light and beautiful. Now I need to stop bracing to stop and he'll be even better than he is now.
I'm learning the awesomeness of having a half-ton animal canter to you and *want* to be with you. It's so incredible to have their mind, and not just their body. To be able to turn him loose in a 60x120 arena and have him stay in a 12' circle around me is incredible. And to see his fire come up and have him offer play.
I'm learning the importance of controling my emotions - and I'm even making progress. Just a few months ago, I'd get frustrated and take it out on Cloud. Today, I still get frustrated, but I've been simply stoping and ending on a good note - then kicking the crap out of a bucket somewhere my horse can't see me. I'm looking forward to the day I won't get frustrated.
I'm learning to put the relationship first - above everything else. To truely 'take the time it takes' and work through problems in a way that makes our relationship stronger - not weaker. I'm learning to find creative solutions and excercises. To look outside the box and find what works. To have a plan and stick to it unless I shouldn't, and to recognise which I should do. My horse is my biggest teacher - he's teaching me more every day.
The most important thing he's taught me: Keep learning, always.
I'm Finally Starting to Catch On....
Re: "Meeting You at the Gate Stories"
Cloud and I alternate between having lots of trouble with this issue and looking like pros.
Currently, we've been going through a slump of "you can't catch me" moments. Reasons being mixed: RB because he's unconfident w/ the haltering process; LB because he's learned he can outrun me. [thank GOD we moved to a place w/ much smaller paddocks - no more truging over 3 acres of land!] I'd been really dissappointed w/ it all - we're L2, "why won't he come to me?"
The answer, in hindsight, was quite obvious: "Because you let him!" How interesting.
Basically, when I go into pasture, I push all the other horses away, but I baby Cloud. If Andy or Remmy get too close, they get the "look" and maybe get "bitten". If Cloud gets too close, he gets "oh, so sweet!" I hate to admit it... The end result was that Andy and Remmy paid attention to EVERY move I made and Cloud ignored them all. Hmmm.....
All that changed Wednesday. Cloud got too close - he got bitten. *SNOOOORRRRT* Paid attention after that! He tried to run away from me - I ran with (not after) him, pace for pace, matching his energy. If he tried to escape at walk, I power-walked. He jogged, I trotted. He loped, I cantered. (huff, pant) He couldn't out maneuver me! (pant, pant) Finally - two circuits later at a gallop! - he stopped, and sighed. 5 minutes later, he was glued to me.
From there, we did a lot of work on his confidence in haltering and in Liberty - including the Catching Game. He started comming to me at full canter! So (finally) I was able to use the right arrows at the right time! I'd tried (and stomped on) almost all my other arrows and had nearly forgotten about this one! So I was glad to have it!
It will be interesting to see how easily he comes to me next time I go up (Sunday at the earliest) but I think we're over the hump - the worst is over!
*****The best part about this: Yes, we seem to keep falling into this rut, but every time, we are able to get out quicker. When I first started, it would have taken me 1-2 weeks before we fixed it (and we rarely ever *fixed* it - just put a BandAid on). Now, it's taking me much shorter - 1 or 2 sessions!!!! Progress!!
((Sheesh - I 'm getting sick of this issue just copying and pasting! I'm so glad to be mostly over the hump on this one.. although Cloudy isn't in a herd environment anymore so there's no reason for him to NOT come see me.))
Cloud and I alternate between having lots of trouble with this issue and looking like pros.
Currently, we've been going through a slump of "you can't catch me" moments. Reasons being mixed: RB because he's unconfident w/ the haltering process; LB because he's learned he can outrun me. [thank GOD we moved to a place w/ much smaller paddocks - no more truging over 3 acres of land!] I'd been really dissappointed w/ it all - we're L2, "why won't he come to me?"
The answer, in hindsight, was quite obvious: "Because you let him!" How interesting.
Basically, when I go into pasture, I push all the other horses away, but I baby Cloud. If Andy or Remmy get too close, they get the "look" and maybe get "bitten". If Cloud gets too close, he gets "oh, so sweet!" I hate to admit it... The end result was that Andy and Remmy paid attention to EVERY move I made and Cloud ignored them all. Hmmm.....
All that changed Wednesday. Cloud got too close - he got bitten. *SNOOOORRRRT* Paid attention after that! He tried to run away from me - I ran with (not after) him, pace for pace, matching his energy. If he tried to escape at walk, I power-walked. He jogged, I trotted. He loped, I cantered. (huff, pant) He couldn't out maneuver me! (pant, pant) Finally - two circuits later at a gallop! - he stopped, and sighed. 5 minutes later, he was glued to me.
From there, we did a lot of work on his confidence in haltering and in Liberty - including the Catching Game. He started comming to me at full canter! So (finally) I was able to use the right arrows at the right time! I'd tried (and stomped on) almost all my other arrows and had nearly forgotten about this one! So I was glad to have it!
It will be interesting to see how easily he comes to me next time I go up (Sunday at the earliest) but I think we're over the hump - the worst is over!
*****The best part about this: Yes, we seem to keep falling into this rut, but every time, we are able to get out quicker. When I first started, it would have taken me 1-2 weeks before we fixed it (and we rarely ever *fixed* it - just put a BandAid on). Now, it's taking me much shorter - 1 or 2 sessions!!!! Progress!!
((Sheesh - I 'm getting sick of this issue just copying and pasting! I'm so glad to be mostly over the hump on this one.. although Cloudy isn't in a herd environment anymore so there's no reason for him to NOT come see me.))
Another Catching BFO... and Some Liberty Play!
Originally posted 8 February 2006...
Hi all, just want to share a great day at the barn.
I was glad to finally have a good day because the last few trips up have been *bad*. The problem had been that Cloud wouldn't "catch" me. Anyway, the past few times have been bad.
Today, though, I made sure I had a plan. Quite simply, my plan was *not* to halter him out in the field where his buddies were because he's been having trouble haltering. Instead, I was going to make my 22' line into a loop and loop it around his neck. That way, I'd have control, but I wouldn't have to halter him. I also wanted to make sure that I had plenty of time and didn't need to feel "rushed".
Anyway, I went out to pasture. As expected, Cloud wouldn't let me touch him. So I didn't. Instead, I started playing with the other horses (don't tell their owners). Also as expected, Cloud was jealous. But he still wouldn't pay attention to me or let me near him. Hmmm; how interesting.
But then it hit me - my BFO: When I go out, I make the other horses get out of my way, but I pamper Cloud. No wonder he's acting like Alpha! (duh...)
So I started 'making my presence known' and wouldn't ya know...he started paying attention. Suddenly, he had to keep track of where I was or else risk getting "bitten" by my Carrot Stick. I was Alpha again! *YAY!* He still wasn't coming, so I tried a couple of "arrows" and finally found the right one - he came! And was totally Left Brain! YAY!!
So we made our way into the arena and worked on haltering. That went well and he was really paying attention to me. I wanted to work on the "Catching Game" so that he'd come to me better - so I let him loose in the arena. (fortunately, we were the only ones there) We played a lot at Liberty. At first, he didn't want to come to me, but he soon realized that it would be better to stick with me than to be all by himself in the big scary arena. So the Catching Game was a success. YAY!!
Then I wanted to get creative with the games at Liberty - so I brought in a couple of barrels. I wanted him to go from one barrel to the next, stopping at each one. It's a lot harder than I thought because we were playing with no ropes or lines or anything - just me an him. (Basically, I had no control over where he went). But we sort of did it. At one point, he broke loose and went to the other side of the arena. *GREAT!*, I thought - now we can practice the Catching Game again.
It didn't take long before Cloud started to CANTER in my direction! (AHHHHHH!!!!) That was a bit unnerving at first - a 1/2 ton animal barreling down on you... But I used my blocks and came out unscathed.
From there, things only got better. It was like on the videos - playing Stick-To-Me and sending to barrels and just hanging out! I was so impressed. We had a bit of time, so I also wanted to figure out how much work he's going to need before I can ride again. He's really unconfident with the whole process, so we're starting over. The problem now is that we don't have a saddle - and won't for the next couple of weeks. Today I started working on mounting bareback. A bit difficult, but still good. We made good progress and ended on a good note.
I was so happy to have made this kind of progress in only a day, but that's the beauty of this program. If only I could get up to the barn more often...but that's OK, we'll manage. I'm putting my L1 assessment on hold for a while. I had wanted to tape pretty soon, but things keep going wrong. So I'm going to fix our relationship first and then try to assess. The thing to do now is to move forward and not stay stuck in L1. Anyway, that's what we did today. I was so happy that I just had to share.
Hi all, just want to share a great day at the barn.
I was glad to finally have a good day because the last few trips up have been *bad*. The problem had been that Cloud wouldn't "catch" me. Anyway, the past few times have been bad.
Today, though, I made sure I had a plan. Quite simply, my plan was *not* to halter him out in the field where his buddies were because he's been having trouble haltering. Instead, I was going to make my 22' line into a loop and loop it around his neck. That way, I'd have control, but I wouldn't have to halter him. I also wanted to make sure that I had plenty of time and didn't need to feel "rushed".
Anyway, I went out to pasture. As expected, Cloud wouldn't let me touch him. So I didn't. Instead, I started playing with the other horses (don't tell their owners). Also as expected, Cloud was jealous. But he still wouldn't pay attention to me or let me near him. Hmmm; how interesting.
But then it hit me - my BFO: When I go out, I make the other horses get out of my way, but I pamper Cloud. No wonder he's acting like Alpha! (duh...)
So I started 'making my presence known' and wouldn't ya know...he started paying attention. Suddenly, he had to keep track of where I was or else risk getting "bitten" by my Carrot Stick. I was Alpha again! *YAY!* He still wasn't coming, so I tried a couple of "arrows" and finally found the right one - he came! And was totally Left Brain! YAY!!
So we made our way into the arena and worked on haltering. That went well and he was really paying attention to me. I wanted to work on the "Catching Game" so that he'd come to me better - so I let him loose in the arena. (fortunately, we were the only ones there) We played a lot at Liberty. At first, he didn't want to come to me, but he soon realized that it would be better to stick with me than to be all by himself in the big scary arena. So the Catching Game was a success. YAY!!
Then I wanted to get creative with the games at Liberty - so I brought in a couple of barrels. I wanted him to go from one barrel to the next, stopping at each one. It's a lot harder than I thought because we were playing with no ropes or lines or anything - just me an him. (Basically, I had no control over where he went). But we sort of did it. At one point, he broke loose and went to the other side of the arena. *GREAT!*, I thought - now we can practice the Catching Game again.
It didn't take long before Cloud started to CANTER in my direction! (AHHHHHH!!!!) That was a bit unnerving at first - a 1/2 ton animal barreling down on you... But I used my blocks and came out unscathed.
From there, things only got better. It was like on the videos - playing Stick-To-Me and sending to barrels and just hanging out! I was so impressed. We had a bit of time, so I also wanted to figure out how much work he's going to need before I can ride again. He's really unconfident with the whole process, so we're starting over. The problem now is that we don't have a saddle - and won't for the next couple of weeks. Today I started working on mounting bareback. A bit difficult, but still good. We made good progress and ended on a good note.
I was so happy to have made this kind of progress in only a day, but that's the beauty of this program. If only I could get up to the barn more often...but that's OK, we'll manage. I'm putting my L1 assessment on hold for a while. I had wanted to tape pretty soon, but things keep going wrong. So I'm going to fix our relationship first and then try to assess. The thing to do now is to move forward and not stay stuck in L1. Anyway, that's what we did today. I was so happy that I just had to share.
Short and Sweet BFO
For once I kept this short!
"My latest breakthrough: If I act like a predator, he'll act like a prey animal!
Hmm, how interesting!!! It seems like a no brainer, dosn't it?
The story behind it: Here I am, chasing my horse around the arena like a mountain lion and asking myself, "Why the *** isn't he settling down?" I was *so* frustrated, too. And then it hit me (WHAP!): Responsibility #1 - Don't act like a predator.
Needless to say, I'm beginning to learn this hard lesson. "
"My latest breakthrough: If I act like a predator, he'll act like a prey animal!
Hmm, how interesting!!! It seems like a no brainer, dosn't it?
The story behind it: Here I am, chasing my horse around the arena like a mountain lion and asking myself, "Why the *** isn't he settling down?" I was *so* frustrated, too. And then it hit me (WHAP!): Responsibility #1 - Don't act like a predator.
Needless to say, I'm beginning to learn this hard lesson. "
Another Good Day in L2/2006!!
Posted on 4th January 2006...
"I went out today skeptical that Cloud would come right up to me, now that he has a buddy in his pasture. However, he proved me wrong!!! And came right up to me when I wistled - leaning over the fence to great me !!!
Then we went inside - through a NARROW door with roosters squacking and a farrier clanging around - and he didn't spook or anything. I took the time it took and yo-yo'ed him in and out until he was completely confident.
Then I groomed him a little - not much because the snow is keeping him clean. He did well for not having been groomed in several weeks (I *AM* a bad horse owner, aren't I..)
Then I left him (tied) and started setting up our play equipment. Barrels, cones, a tarp, and a plastic pool. I set it up Parelli Tournament style - a circle around the tarp, &c - like the DVD a few months back. Cloud did well, but he REALLY wanted to be there with me. (Awwww)
We started playing. He was totally glued in to me, asking me questions left and right. If you were in my shoes, you'd have seen this:
() ()
* ~ *
O_O
Looking right at me, asking questions! YAY!
We finished with the stations very successfully and then played the Circling game. I wanted him to jump the barrels - which he's never done before. Nothing happened. So we started real slow and I let him mess up - tried not to push on him or get mad. Finally - IT HAPPENDED !! he jumped the barrels!!! A REAL jump, too, not a hop or a step!!!
So, things were going well. Then we started playing "stick to me" on-line (12') and that went really well. In fact, his FQ and HQ yields are really improving now that we've started playing stick to me. He was really stuck on me.
Then we started "mirroring" eachother at varying gates - also on the 12' line. Basically, I asked him to speed up from a walk, then I took what he offered and mirrored him. So we trotted (and even CANTERED) together. Not to mention HQ yields and sideways. He's lazy as heck, so for him to canter with me is a HUGE deal.
Then we went back to the tarp and I put it over him. He had it on him for almost 5 minutes - even draping over his ears, so he couldn't see anything. AWESOME.
At some point, I dropped the line and tied it around his neck so we could do some liberty stuff. In a 60x120 arena with open walls, doorways and food just around the corner. We played "stick to me" and some squeeze and circling games. I even sent him to a tarp and had him put his foot on it (which he did!). SO COOL!
Then we quit for a little bit. Spent some undemanding time sitting on a barrel. Drank some hot chocolate (it was cold) - he wanted to drink it with me, but I didn't think that was good for him. Spent some more undemanding time and then quit. I put him in his pasture - shooed away the other horse - fed him some cookies and then left to clean up.
Sorry this was so long, but I HAD to share. I am SO EXCITED. Our relationship has grown by leaps and bounds and he is really starting to respect me!!
SO EXCITED!!!! I'M SO HAPPY, I'M GLOWING!!!!"
**ah** -- I love good days like that!!
Into 2006... Lots of Changes & Some Good Ideas!
I moved into a new barn just before New Years - a big, new barn with an indoor arena 
and three round pens --- woohoo!! It was a much needed move - as much as I liked the other place, they just didn't have the facilities I needed to progress... at all, and especially in winter. Glad to be at a new place -- and the best news is that this barn is Parelli friendly! Barn owner and a few other people do PNH and they have playdays and clinics (with a L3 student/trainer) on a regular basis -- more good news!
This was the perfect solution for me to be able to have a plan in advanced without being stifling for my horse or myself (we don't like constricting plans!). And as I remember it worked really well - made me remember what to do in certain situations -- and it was really cool! I'm really proud of myself for this part of my journey!!!
and three round pens --- woohoo!! It was a much needed move - as much as I liked the other place, they just didn't have the facilities I needed to progress... at all, and especially in winter. Glad to be at a new place -- and the best news is that this barn is Parelli friendly! Barn owner and a few other people do PNH and they have playdays and clinics (with a L3 student/trainer) on a regular basis -- more good news! Still on an up-and-down journey with Cloud. Lots of good things happening with this move, and a lot of progress made, but this is also the barn where I got dragged across the arena on my stomach (sand surfing), where Cloud jumped out of the round pen (causing $300 worth of damage I might add), where he crashed through numerous gates, where (when riding outside) he tripped and fell over on top of me (or at least, nearly) and where we had a severe carting accident and he broke my cart, harness and a $400 gate panel. Fun. This is the barn of lots of damages, as I recall.... :-(
BUT we also made some huge progress. This is also the barn where we started moving into L3 groundwork, where I started teaching the lay-down and bow cues, where I got some *fantastic* instruction from great teachers, where we did a couple of fantastic playdays, where our relationship improved a TON and he started whinnying every time I whistled (love that!) and lots of other good stuff. Basically, we've moved into the period of 50/50 ratio of good to bad, which is pretty darn typical of L2!
Looking through some of my posts for the early part of the year, I stumble upon this gem... I can't believe I lost it - it's such fantastic advice and progress! Take a look...
"I just moved to a new barn, so Cloud has a lot of places that cause him to spook. I needed to find a way to plan in advance for those spots so that I could better handle them. And then I came up with this idea.
First, I re-viewed the new L2 DVD's about 7 games w/ an obstacle, right and left brain behavior, &c. Then I wrote down all the places we go: The pasture, in between the pasture and the barn (including the round corral), the woods, and the barn/arena. Finally, I tried to think of all the obstacles/things we could play with if things went wrong, and I figured out a few things we could do with them. I put all that information onto 4x6 cards and bound the cards together.
The front page looks like this - directly from the L2 DVD's and Program Guides:
If my horse suddenly looses focus, this is what I should do...
Right Brain Reaction:
1. Stop the reaction
2. Redirect his energy
*Use consistancy
*Game #1: more retreat
Left Brain Reaction:
1. Don't do what isn't working
2. Find something different to do
*Use variety
*Game #1: more approach
The inside ended up looking like this:
IN THE WOODS I CAN FIND...
Logs:
R.B.: Stand next to/near/straddling log.
L.B.: Sideways in front of/behind/straddling log; Yo-Yo or squeeze over
Stumps:
R.B.: Stand on or near stump.
L.B.: Sideways - HQ or FQ next to stump; Circling - alternate passing in front of and behind stump.
Of course, I included not only the woods, but everywhere else we go. I don't know if this would be of any use to anyone, but it certainly helped me. I'm not one to think quickly on my feet, so having something I can keep in my pocket and reference if I need to is really nice. Feel free to steal the idea or make fun of me!!"
This was the perfect solution for me to be able to have a plan in advanced without being stifling for my horse or myself (we don't like constricting plans!). And as I remember it worked really well - made me remember what to do in certain situations -- and it was really cool! I'm really proud of myself for this part of my journey!!!
Humor and Posts from 2005!
And actually a really good example of how not shoving PNH people's faces actually gets them more interested than shoving it in their face does!
"Hi all, I figured you all could laugh over this.
The other day I went to get on Cloud and he got totally right brained. Then I realized it wasn't new. See, in getting my confidence back, I walked all over his. So we're restarting Level 1 riding. Now that I have some Level 2 problem solving SAVVY, I am really confident that I'm doing the right thing.
Anyway, my plan of action starts with the EXTREME FRIENDLY GAME from the ground. Thought you might like to hear a funny story about that. I turned my stick into a flag, but I used the stick with the bell on it so it would really make a lot of noise. Then I played the quiet friendly game, making sure Cloud was OK with it. He was. So I took it up a few notches. HOOTING AND HOLLERING, I waved it all over the place while I did JUMPING JACKS and KARATE KICKS and nearly everything else. I relaxed when he did, just like the Parelli's say to do.
It was all going GREAT. He was settling down and getting really left brain. Perfect, right? Well, I had just started up again after a short break when he moved a bit. No big deal, right. I just moved with him. JUST IN TIME TO SEE...Two people standing at the barn door and STARING AT ME. I was totally embarrassed. I mean, here I was doing the chicken dance around my horse, waving this bright orange stick and making as much noise as I possibly could. AHH!
The embarrassment lasted a whole two seconds before I realized that my horse is so much more important than the way I look, so I kept going.
A good twenty minutes later, exausted, but very happy, I made it into the barn. Only one of my watchers was around. I didn't make much mention of it, hoping she was looking at the other horses and not at me (yeah right..).
After a couple of minutes, she said to me: "You know, "K" and I were watching what you were doing with Cloud."
I gulped. K is an owner of a huge Warmblood and she does dressage. You all know how dressage people are. [sorry dressage people!! I know now that you're not ALL like that!! BTW I cannot for the life of me remember who this woman is.. at all!]
"Anyway," she continued, "K told me that she really wanted to meet you. She was really upset that she had to leave."
I WAS FLOORED!! And totally excited. It was awesome! (almost as awesome as what Cloud did that day). Thought you might like to know and I owe it all to the PARELLI's and this wonderful system. Thank you all!!"
What a great way to lead by example, eh?!
And another post that reminds me that respect for others is sometimes better than what's going on with my horse....
"Not really funny I know, but still. I just ran into this today, in fact. There were three horses in the ring, two natural and one normal. The normal horse was being lunged. Cloud and I were just outside the arena and I needed him to push over. He didn't respond to phase 1, so I moved up my phases, using a plastic bag as Phase 4. My back was to the arena, but I heard a shaky, scared voice saying "PLEASE! stop shaking the bag!!". Of course, I stopped, turned and apologized. The voice, I learned, came from the normal person. The two natural horses didn't even blink, even thought they were closer.
It just made me laugh. She was just so typically normal - refusing to allow her horse to be exposed to anything that might spook it. Like keeping a piece of straw away from a balloon because it might pop, completely unaware that the balloon is in a room full of needles.
The point to the story is that, although these normal people are being completely rediculous, they aren't going to change their ways if you are rude or unruly. Be polite and accepting. They're wrong, but there isn't anything you can do about it. *Sadly* "
Also a good way to show how far I've come with my emotional fittness and respect for others... I'm mildly horrified that I thought that was funny, although I'm glad to see that I stopped right away. Goodness - that poor lady is on her own journey and I'm sort of ashamed to see myself bashing her like that... :blush:
"Hi all, I figured you all could laugh over this.
The other day I went to get on Cloud and he got totally right brained. Then I realized it wasn't new. See, in getting my confidence back, I walked all over his. So we're restarting Level 1 riding. Now that I have some Level 2 problem solving SAVVY, I am really confident that I'm doing the right thing.
Anyway, my plan of action starts with the EXTREME FRIENDLY GAME from the ground. Thought you might like to hear a funny story about that. I turned my stick into a flag, but I used the stick with the bell on it so it would really make a lot of noise. Then I played the quiet friendly game, making sure Cloud was OK with it. He was. So I took it up a few notches. HOOTING AND HOLLERING, I waved it all over the place while I did JUMPING JACKS and KARATE KICKS and nearly everything else. I relaxed when he did, just like the Parelli's say to do.
It was all going GREAT. He was settling down and getting really left brain. Perfect, right? Well, I had just started up again after a short break when he moved a bit. No big deal, right. I just moved with him. JUST IN TIME TO SEE...Two people standing at the barn door and STARING AT ME. I was totally embarrassed. I mean, here I was doing the chicken dance around my horse, waving this bright orange stick and making as much noise as I possibly could. AHH!
The embarrassment lasted a whole two seconds before I realized that my horse is so much more important than the way I look, so I kept going.
A good twenty minutes later, exausted, but very happy, I made it into the barn. Only one of my watchers was around. I didn't make much mention of it, hoping she was looking at the other horses and not at me (yeah right..).
After a couple of minutes, she said to me: "You know, "K" and I were watching what you were doing with Cloud."
I gulped. K is an owner of a huge Warmblood and she does dressage. You all know how dressage people are. [sorry dressage people!! I know now that you're not ALL like that!! BTW I cannot for the life of me remember who this woman is.. at all!]
"Anyway," she continued, "K told me that she really wanted to meet you. She was really upset that she had to leave."
I WAS FLOORED!! And totally excited. It was awesome! (almost as awesome as what Cloud did that day). Thought you might like to know and I owe it all to the PARELLI's and this wonderful system. Thank you all!!"
What a great way to lead by example, eh?!
And another post that reminds me that respect for others is sometimes better than what's going on with my horse....
"Not really funny I know, but still. I just ran into this today, in fact. There were three horses in the ring, two natural and one normal. The normal horse was being lunged. Cloud and I were just outside the arena and I needed him to push over. He didn't respond to phase 1, so I moved up my phases, using a plastic bag as Phase 4. My back was to the arena, but I heard a shaky, scared voice saying "PLEASE! stop shaking the bag!!". Of course, I stopped, turned and apologized. The voice, I learned, came from the normal person. The two natural horses didn't even blink, even thought they were closer.
It just made me laugh. She was just so typically normal - refusing to allow her horse to be exposed to anything that might spook it. Like keeping a piece of straw away from a balloon because it might pop, completely unaware that the balloon is in a room full of needles.
The point to the story is that, although these normal people are being completely rediculous, they aren't going to change their ways if you are rude or unruly. Be polite and accepting. They're wrong, but there isn't anything you can do about it. *Sadly* "
Also a good way to show how far I've come with my emotional fittness and respect for others... I'm mildly horrified that I thought that was funny, although I'm glad to see that I stopped right away. Goodness - that poor lady is on her own journey and I'm sort of ashamed to see myself bashing her like that... :blush:
Expectations - Are They Good or Bad?
Ahh.. moving into L2 was so much fun - but it doesn't solve all the problems we'd had in L1. In fact, it seemed to add some new ones.
After my BFO, the balance shifted, and we started having fewer and fewer bad days -- but we still had a lot of them. Catching issues continued - habits once formed are hard to break - but I had learned to look to myself for answers more frequently, and stop blaming my horse... finally!
Here's a post I wrote in October of 2005 detailing some of our struggles:
"Does anyone else have this problem?
I'm starting Level 2 with Cloud but we still have a bunch of problems. Mostly, I still have problems. Nothing tremendously serious, but that I get TOO DIRECT LINE. You know, like "everything is going so well! I'm going to do this, this and this today" and then completely forget that this is a partnership. (*Oh, yeah*) Well, often to my great dispair, MY HORSE IS MY MIRROR. Literally. If I'm direct line, he avoids me. So there have been days when I can't catch him. I was so frustrated with this to begin with, but I am getting better.
This is not really what I'm asking, but rather: "Does anyone else have those days when you feel that all the other horses in the pasture respond better than yours does?". I have really struggled with that. On the days that Cloud dosn't come to me (and there have only been about 4), EVERYONE ELSE IN PASTURE WILL COME TO ME.
In a way, it is really flattering. I have made a complete impression with all of the other horses and they all love me. They see me coming and they all crowd around me and ask for kisses and scratches and they'll follow me all around the field. In another way, it is TOTALLY ANNOYING. Because every horse comes to me except my own. They all love to be with me, but Cloud still has those issues.
Now, I understand that a good reason for that is that I don't ever ask anything of the other horses, except to out of my way, when I need them to move. And I ask Cloud to move here and there and circle and back up &c, &c, &c. But in a way it is a good reality check and excellent FEEDBACK. And it rarely happens to begin with. Besides, this is a LEARNING PROCESS, and I am learning. So that's a total A+++.
I didn't really want to tell a story, but rather to find out if other people have similiar issues. DO YOU ALL??"
Ah, the Savvy Club Forum during the reign of Richard! :-D Fond memories... lol!
This is a good example of me finding healthy ways to vent my frustration and to help myself problem-solve (which, under the reign of Richard, was quite a challenge, if any of you recall!).
Oh, and it's also a good excuse to sneek some photos into the blog! The horses in the photos are some of Cloud's pasture buddies (and my good friends, too) during this time period.
Later on, in December, I had another breakthrough - this time better documented:
12/4/05: Couldn't get Cloud to catch me.
12/5/05: Wondered why I couldn't get Cloud to catch me.
12/6/05: Realized I had gone out to pasture with a "Game plan" instead of with the plan to spend time with my horse. I had wanted to accomplish "X, Y and Z" and my horse wanted nothing to do with it.
12/7/05: Came up with a new game plan: Go out and spend a lot of undemanding time. If I don't accomplish anything else, at least I'll have spent some time with my horse.
12/11/05: Applied my game plan. WITH FABULOUS RESULTS!! My entire attitude had changed, so Cloud wanted to spend time with me. He came to me and stayed the whole time. Not only that, but all the other horses in pasture saw my changed attitude and came to spend time with me. I actually had to keep shooing them away 'cause they didn't want to leave! Ran through the on-line tasks for the L1 assesment: We're ready!!! Also worked on my preparation for saddling plan. He accepted the friendly game with the pad and was confident with the cinching simulation with the 22' line. Altogether, it was a GREAT DAY!!!
Very cool to look back at my progress and see how far we've come -- to think that THIS was worth celebrating! :-D
Moving into L2...
That BFO really did me good! Not long afterwards, I started moving into L2 and gaining much more Savvy and arrows than I had before.
A change I made not long after the BFO was to start being much less direct line about haltering and catching. Yes, the session before is important, but so is the approach today. Cloud started getting really claustrophobic if I just came over, put a halter on, and brought him to the barn, so I started trying ways to fix it. The solution, I found, was to go out, greet him, and put a savvy string around his neck just in case but to not put a halter on right away. We'd wander around with just the SS, graze a bit, play a few games at semi-liberty (one of the cool things about L2!) and then, only when he was ready, put a halter on. Before the BFO everything was gross motor skills - big things. Now we're starting to refine things a lot better, and fix the smaller aspects of our relationship.
Some notes from October 2005...
10/10/05: Cloud GOT the sideways game. He was totally soft and he actually TWO TRACKED, not just the front-back-front-back motion. That was awesome.
10/17/05: I put the 22' line on Cloud but I dropped it, and didn't touch it at all. It was simply a safety net. Then I did GAMES 1, 2 & 3 all using no stronger than PHASE 2!!!! YAY! That was totally encouraging.
10/17/05: I made my western saddle fit and I rode for nearly an hour.
10/20/05: I've actually begun thinking about cantering without being scared to death.
10/23/05: Cloud and I went for an actual TRAIL RIDE. He's still young and he used to get really excited on the trail. I haven't gone on a trail ride w/in the last year and was pleasently surprised when he was CALM, CONTROLED and RELAXED. He listened well and was just really good. I was sooo happy.
Lots of really good progress being made now! We've been doing PNH now for nearly a year, but just moved out of L1 purgatory 2 months ago, right after my BFO. Such fantastic changes being made!! The riding thing is a really cool thing - it was literally a year and a half, more like 2 years before I felt OK riding, but we made some really cool changes this month! Very fun!!
A change I made not long after the BFO was to start being much less direct line about haltering and catching. Yes, the session before is important, but so is the approach today. Cloud started getting really claustrophobic if I just came over, put a halter on, and brought him to the barn, so I started trying ways to fix it. The solution, I found, was to go out, greet him, and put a savvy string around his neck just in case but to not put a halter on right away. We'd wander around with just the SS, graze a bit, play a few games at semi-liberty (one of the cool things about L2!) and then, only when he was ready, put a halter on. Before the BFO everything was gross motor skills - big things. Now we're starting to refine things a lot better, and fix the smaller aspects of our relationship.
Some notes from October 2005...
10/10/05: Cloud GOT the sideways game. He was totally soft and he actually TWO TRACKED, not just the front-back-front-back motion. That was awesome.
10/17/05: I put the 22' line on Cloud but I dropped it, and didn't touch it at all. It was simply a safety net. Then I did GAMES 1, 2 & 3 all using no stronger than PHASE 2!!!! YAY! That was totally encouraging.
10/17/05: I made my western saddle fit and I rode for nearly an hour.
10/20/05: I've actually begun thinking about cantering without being scared to death.
10/23/05: Cloud and I went for an actual TRAIL RIDE. He's still young and he used to get really excited on the trail. I haven't gone on a trail ride w/in the last year and was pleasently surprised when he was CALM, CONTROLED and RELAXED. He listened well and was just really good. I was sooo happy.
Lots of really good progress being made now! We've been doing PNH now for nearly a year, but just moved out of L1 purgatory 2 months ago, right after my BFO. Such fantastic changes being made!! The riding thing is a really cool thing - it was literally a year and a half, more like 2 years before I felt OK riding, but we made some really cool changes this month! Very fun!!
A Word or Twelve about "Normals"
Well, this is about where my posting on the Forum began, and I see I was deep into the thickets of frustration with and (I'm ashamed to say) hatred for anyone who did not do Parelli. For anyone reading this that was around me during those times... I want to formally apologise (well, I guess not "formally" since I'm writing this on a blog and not saying this to your face - but if you know who you are, I'm sorry!)
There is a period in every adolescents life (and I mean this not only as it regards age - because I was technically an adolescent at that time - but also as it regards learning new things. When it comes to learning something new, just as with life, one goes through a baby stage, an adolescent stage, an adult stage and finally an elder stage -- where one learns the rudiments of the thing, believes he/she is better than everyone else, settles into the their niche and becomes comfortable, and then finally becomes an expert or at least someone knowledgeable enough to share advice and wisdom) where they believe they know everything in the world - and especially that they know it better than their parents and elders. Looking back on it, I know how absolutely wrong I was and I feel deep chagrin for my lack of emotional fitness and my words and actions, but at the time I was an adolescent - both in age and in Parelli knowledge - and I though I knew what I was saying! Since this is a recollection of that time in my life, I will record what I was feeling then, as I was feeling it, but I must preface with my sincere apologies!!
A Parelli student's journey to emotional fittness is littered with frustration! There is especially a lot of frustration towards those people who do not do Parelli (people often labled "normals", a term I presently dislike, but used with vigor several years ago). There is a real and perceived dissonnance and animosity between those who do Parelli and those who don't, and in the early stages of one's journey, when one is unsure of what she is doing and extremely self concious, that animosity is a welcomed outlet for our frustrations. After all, nothing is ever our fault - it's always the fault of those around us who don't like us -- right?!
Well, that's how my train of thought went back then!
Some of it was not unfounded. Especially three years ago, when I started, Natural Horsemanship was not very well know and it was nowhere near as popular as it is today. People just didn't understand what you were doing on the ground and not riding - and to a certain extend that is true today as well. That is a fairly normal (not Normal!) concern, however, as all traditional horsemanship -- with the exception of unstarted youngsters -- happens on the backs of these mighty steeds. But as an uncomfortable and self-concious adolescent, I took this animosity and really expanded upon it.
I wanted to be TOWANDA, the avenger! Everything wrong in the horse world today could be solved with Parelli, every horse problem in the world was the fault of the owner for not doing Parelli, I refused to go to shows or hang out with non-naturals because they were stupid and abusive to their horses. And, yes, I actually believed this. I would come home and vent to my parents about how stupid people who don't do Parelli are and I know I turned a LOT of people off Parelli in my early stages because of my arrogance and insolence.
It took a while to figure it out, but I eventually realized that the old addage is right: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (though what anyone would want with a whole bunch of flies is beyond me! lol). I did realize eventually that my attitudes where hurtful, not helpful and I eventually shut up around other people (thought I still did far too much whining and venting around my parents and on the Forum) and decided to teach by example instead of by preaching and throwing words around. It was much more effective!
To anyone reading this that is new to the journey, please remember that even in times when you swear no one's watching or listening - they are. Especially because you're doing something different and slightly unpopular. And often times (this is true particularly on message boards and the Internet, but is also true in some circles of real life) they are waiting for you to act like an idiot and start spewing your fanatical PNH dogma (lol) so they can cream you for it. It's not worth it. For every one person you may "convert" you're likely to turn ten more people off. Lead by example. Stay passively persistant in the proper position. Be silent. Maintain (or grow) some emotional fittness and keep quiet even in situations where you want to speak up. Of course, speak at the proper times, but maintain your cool and stay emotionally fit. It's hard - but I promise this works FAR better than going off on "normals". Really!
Usually by the end of L2 and the beginning of L3 we've gathered enough emotional fittness to be able to talk about Parelli respectfully. The good news is that by that time we actually have the skills to back up what we say! It's really easy to believe that Parelli works when you're doing freestyle bridless work, or playing at liberty with extreme connection... and it's really hard to believe it works when you see someone barely into L2 flailing around and getting tripped up in the 22' line!! But, again, that's just my experience.
So to all of you who I offended in my early days, if you're reading this, I hope you accept my deepest apologies!
There is a period in every adolescents life (and I mean this not only as it regards age - because I was technically an adolescent at that time - but also as it regards learning new things. When it comes to learning something new, just as with life, one goes through a baby stage, an adolescent stage, an adult stage and finally an elder stage -- where one learns the rudiments of the thing, believes he/she is better than everyone else, settles into the their niche and becomes comfortable, and then finally becomes an expert or at least someone knowledgeable enough to share advice and wisdom) where they believe they know everything in the world - and especially that they know it better than their parents and elders. Looking back on it, I know how absolutely wrong I was and I feel deep chagrin for my lack of emotional fitness and my words and actions, but at the time I was an adolescent - both in age and in Parelli knowledge - and I though I knew what I was saying! Since this is a recollection of that time in my life, I will record what I was feeling then, as I was feeling it, but I must preface with my sincere apologies!!
A Parelli student's journey to emotional fittness is littered with frustration! There is especially a lot of frustration towards those people who do not do Parelli (people often labled "normals", a term I presently dislike, but used with vigor several years ago). There is a real and perceived dissonnance and animosity between those who do Parelli and those who don't, and in the early stages of one's journey, when one is unsure of what she is doing and extremely self concious, that animosity is a welcomed outlet for our frustrations. After all, nothing is ever our fault - it's always the fault of those around us who don't like us -- right?!
Well, that's how my train of thought went back then!
Some of it was not unfounded. Especially three years ago, when I started, Natural Horsemanship was not very well know and it was nowhere near as popular as it is today. People just didn't understand what you were doing on the ground and not riding - and to a certain extend that is true today as well. That is a fairly normal (not Normal!) concern, however, as all traditional horsemanship -- with the exception of unstarted youngsters -- happens on the backs of these mighty steeds. But as an uncomfortable and self-concious adolescent, I took this animosity and really expanded upon it.
I wanted to be TOWANDA, the avenger! Everything wrong in the horse world today could be solved with Parelli, every horse problem in the world was the fault of the owner for not doing Parelli, I refused to go to shows or hang out with non-naturals because they were stupid and abusive to their horses. And, yes, I actually believed this. I would come home and vent to my parents about how stupid people who don't do Parelli are and I know I turned a LOT of people off Parelli in my early stages because of my arrogance and insolence.
It took a while to figure it out, but I eventually realized that the old addage is right: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (though what anyone would want with a whole bunch of flies is beyond me! lol). I did realize eventually that my attitudes where hurtful, not helpful and I eventually shut up around other people (thought I still did far too much whining and venting around my parents and on the Forum) and decided to teach by example instead of by preaching and throwing words around. It was much more effective!
To anyone reading this that is new to the journey, please remember that even in times when you swear no one's watching or listening - they are. Especially because you're doing something different and slightly unpopular. And often times (this is true particularly on message boards and the Internet, but is also true in some circles of real life) they are waiting for you to act like an idiot and start spewing your fanatical PNH dogma (lol) so they can cream you for it. It's not worth it. For every one person you may "convert" you're likely to turn ten more people off. Lead by example. Stay passively persistant in the proper position. Be silent. Maintain (or grow) some emotional fittness and keep quiet even in situations where you want to speak up. Of course, speak at the proper times, but maintain your cool and stay emotionally fit. It's hard - but I promise this works FAR better than going off on "normals". Really!
Usually by the end of L2 and the beginning of L3 we've gathered enough emotional fittness to be able to talk about Parelli respectfully. The good news is that by that time we actually have the skills to back up what we say! It's really easy to believe that Parelli works when you're doing freestyle bridless work, or playing at liberty with extreme connection... and it's really hard to believe it works when you see someone barely into L2 flailing around and getting tripped up in the 22' line!! But, again, that's just my experience.
So to all of you who I offended in my early days, if you're reading this, I hope you accept my deepest apologies!
The Catching Game Soap Opera
By the time Cloud stopped letting me catch him we were about a year into the journey - and still in L1. That's a BAD thing by the way. Don't do what I did - please!! Learn the *concept* of the games and then move immediatly into L2 - do not pass go, do not collect $200! Staying too long in L1 caused a TON of problems for me and should be avoided at *all* costs. The games do not need to be perfect - they cannot be perfect until you get into L2 and L3. You may not be able to pass your L1 assessment until you're partway into L2 -- that's OK! Get out of L1 pergatory NOW, for my sanity!!
: -
OK, that said, let's continue!
We could do all the games sort of. Not well, but sort of. Circling was still a PITA and Sideways wasn't much better. Squeeze was OK so long as it wasn't OVER anything, and Porcupine, Driving and Yo-Yo were better than those ones, but still not great. I had started riding - if you can call it that. More like sit on him bareback and if he so much as POOPS I'll get off because it sort of feels like a buck (phsaw!). Yeah - that Johnny really scared me! We'd sort of started playing with applying the games, but most of that knowledge is in L2, not L1, so I didn't have enough information to do things right and Cloud was really BORED. As in "out of his skull". Really.
((BTW, the last thing you want to mess with it a bored out of his skull Left Brain Introvert. It sucks. Really!))
As I mentioned earlier, I had gotten to a point where I knew that I was partly responsible for how Cloud felt about me, but I didn't understand the full extent of it. It was about then that we began our Catching Game Soap Opera.
Cloud was never thrilled to see me in pasture (except for a few rare moments) but he always stopped wherever he was at and waited for me to come get him. That is, until this point in time. We had been stuck in the dungeons of L1 far too long (and I don't even remember why..), he was bored with me, I was doing a lot of things wrong --> and this was how he planned to tell me! The first time it happened, I spent an hour and a half in a three acre pasture following him up and down the hills all over the place, trying every arrow in my (very small) quivver to get him to come to me. Nothing worked!
The second time it happened I spent another hour and a half, part trying to catch him, part trying (and failing!) to ignore him and part chasing after him with my carrot stick in pure, unadulterated frustration. Again, nothing worked.
This was interspersed over a couple weeks and was my first major "ah-ha" moment. We'd had minor ones before, but this was a true BFO (blinding flash of the obvious!) - and our first one at that. I'd spend a bunch of time trying and failing to catch him one day and then the next day (again - this means "session" as they could be over a week apart) he'd be really easy to catch - maybe even glad to see me. And it continued like this for, gosh, at least a couple of months, with me going out once or twice a week and being successful at catching him about half the time.
Remember that up to this point I had no conception that what I did on a daily basis would affect his mood and opinion of me - after all, horses live in the moment, they don't think about the future, so how could my actions change things?! Ahh - famous last words!
It was in the depths of my frustration one afternoon of unsuccessful catching (and you should understand my frustration; remember I only was able to see him once or maybe twice in a week, so if I couldn't catch him that was an entire week wasted!) that I noticed a pattern. My ability to catch him was directly related to the way we concluded our previous session. If things went well, if I didn't get angry or frustrated, if I kept his best interests front and centre - he would be really easy to catch the next day. If, on the other hand, I got frustrated with him, if I worked him too hard, if I made him extremely bored, if I didn't give him enough "down" time (i.e. it was all pressure, no release) - he would be impossible to catch the next day.
This single concept changed EVERYTHING I did with Cloud from that moment onwards, and it entirely altered the path we would take. Finally I seemed to understand what it meant that frustrations would turn into facinations - this was such a frustration for me, but the second I understood it, it became facinating! Once that little problem "clicked" for me, the majority of our problems went away. It was absolutely facinating!!
From that point on, I became extremely concious about how we played, how we learned. I became extremely - almost minutely - aware about when he was getting frustrated, or bored, and even in those early stages when I didn't understand the HOW, I was beginning to understand the need to change and fix things. That was when I began to learn the importance of quitting when things go badly - or before they do if possible. I had previously though that if I quit when things were bad then he'd "won" and I'd be in trouble. In some things, of course, that would have been the case. But if I don't have a definate solution to the problem, then struggling over it would be pointless, and I began to realize the truth to that.
I said earlier that there is a moment in time when the balance begins to shift, where things stop being so out of control, so manic-depressive. There is a moment when the bad days start to lesson, and the good days start to increase. This moment, this BFO, was my turning point, my shift in time.
I still had plenty of bad days after that. It wasn't an immediate change. The balance went from 70% bad days and 30% good days to 69% bad days and 31% good days, and it steadily improved from there. But that day, that BFO marked a major turning point, and it was a very positive one at that.
I can't really explain all that that BFO meant to me. There are so many things involved with it. But one of the biggest things it did was teach me that if things go badly, I should probably be blaming myself first. After this moment, when I would get frustrated with the circling game (still a tretcherous thorn in our side!), instead of taking my frustration and anger out on my horse, I would stop what I was doing, walk away and take it out on a tree, or something else - or I would just go away, cry it off, and then return. In doing so I made a drastic shift in our relationship - that one thing made a marked improvement on Cloud. It was harder for me - I had to learn to deal with my emotions on my own, by myself, which often seemed an impossible goal - but it was so much better for us. From that moment on I also started to plan for the next day - to really learn what it means to set myself up for success. And I began judging myself not on how he thinks of me at the end of the day - but by how thinks of me at the end of the next day. All these things were major, relationship altering changes, and they strongly influence the way I work with my horse even today.
Thank goodness for BFOs!
: -
OK, that said, let's continue!
We could do all the games sort of. Not well, but sort of. Circling was still a PITA and Sideways wasn't much better. Squeeze was OK so long as it wasn't OVER anything, and Porcupine, Driving and Yo-Yo were better than those ones, but still not great. I had started riding - if you can call it that. More like sit on him bareback and if he so much as POOPS I'll get off because it sort of feels like a buck (phsaw!). Yeah - that Johnny really scared me! We'd sort of started playing with applying the games, but most of that knowledge is in L2, not L1, so I didn't have enough information to do things right and Cloud was really BORED. As in "out of his skull". Really.
((BTW, the last thing you want to mess with it a bored out of his skull Left Brain Introvert. It sucks. Really!))
As I mentioned earlier, I had gotten to a point where I knew that I was partly responsible for how Cloud felt about me, but I didn't understand the full extent of it. It was about then that we began our Catching Game Soap Opera.
Cloud was never thrilled to see me in pasture (except for a few rare moments) but he always stopped wherever he was at and waited for me to come get him. That is, until this point in time. We had been stuck in the dungeons of L1 far too long (and I don't even remember why..), he was bored with me, I was doing a lot of things wrong --> and this was how he planned to tell me! The first time it happened, I spent an hour and a half in a three acre pasture following him up and down the hills all over the place, trying every arrow in my (very small) quivver to get him to come to me. Nothing worked!
The second time it happened I spent another hour and a half, part trying to catch him, part trying (and failing!) to ignore him and part chasing after him with my carrot stick in pure, unadulterated frustration. Again, nothing worked.
This was interspersed over a couple weeks and was my first major "ah-ha" moment. We'd had minor ones before, but this was a true BFO (blinding flash of the obvious!) - and our first one at that. I'd spend a bunch of time trying and failing to catch him one day and then the next day (again - this means "session" as they could be over a week apart) he'd be really easy to catch - maybe even glad to see me. And it continued like this for, gosh, at least a couple of months, with me going out once or twice a week and being successful at catching him about half the time.
Remember that up to this point I had no conception that what I did on a daily basis would affect his mood and opinion of me - after all, horses live in the moment, they don't think about the future, so how could my actions change things?! Ahh - famous last words!
It was in the depths of my frustration one afternoon of unsuccessful catching (and you should understand my frustration; remember I only was able to see him once or maybe twice in a week, so if I couldn't catch him that was an entire week wasted!) that I noticed a pattern. My ability to catch him was directly related to the way we concluded our previous session. If things went well, if I didn't get angry or frustrated, if I kept his best interests front and centre - he would be really easy to catch the next day. If, on the other hand, I got frustrated with him, if I worked him too hard, if I made him extremely bored, if I didn't give him enough "down" time (i.e. it was all pressure, no release) - he would be impossible to catch the next day.
This single concept changed EVERYTHING I did with Cloud from that moment onwards, and it entirely altered the path we would take. Finally I seemed to understand what it meant that frustrations would turn into facinations - this was such a frustration for me, but the second I understood it, it became facinating! Once that little problem "clicked" for me, the majority of our problems went away. It was absolutely facinating!!
From that point on, I became extremely concious about how we played, how we learned. I became extremely - almost minutely - aware about when he was getting frustrated, or bored, and even in those early stages when I didn't understand the HOW, I was beginning to understand the need to change and fix things. That was when I began to learn the importance of quitting when things go badly - or before they do if possible. I had previously though that if I quit when things were bad then he'd "won" and I'd be in trouble. In some things, of course, that would have been the case. But if I don't have a definate solution to the problem, then struggling over it would be pointless, and I began to realize the truth to that.
I said earlier that there is a moment in time when the balance begins to shift, where things stop being so out of control, so manic-depressive. There is a moment when the bad days start to lesson, and the good days start to increase. This moment, this BFO, was my turning point, my shift in time.
I still had plenty of bad days after that. It wasn't an immediate change. The balance went from 70% bad days and 30% good days to 69% bad days and 31% good days, and it steadily improved from there. But that day, that BFO marked a major turning point, and it was a very positive one at that.
I can't really explain all that that BFO meant to me. There are so many things involved with it. But one of the biggest things it did was teach me that if things go badly, I should probably be blaming myself first. After this moment, when I would get frustrated with the circling game (still a tretcherous thorn in our side!), instead of taking my frustration and anger out on my horse, I would stop what I was doing, walk away and take it out on a tree, or something else - or I would just go away, cry it off, and then return. In doing so I made a drastic shift in our relationship - that one thing made a marked improvement on Cloud. It was harder for me - I had to learn to deal with my emotions on my own, by myself, which often seemed an impossible goal - but it was so much better for us. From that moment on I also started to plan for the next day - to really learn what it means to set myself up for success. And I began judging myself not on how he thinks of me at the end of the day - but by how thinks of me at the end of the next day. All these things were major, relationship altering changes, and they strongly influence the way I work with my horse even today.
Thank goodness for BFOs!
Excercises in Futility and Frustration
OK, so where was I.. oh, yeah, "agonizing struggle" - that about describes our relationship with the Circling Game. It was terrible!! I actually did get a couple of nice circles the first day or two, but then it soon deteriorated into a game of "how can Cloud frustrate Sarah enough to make her run away sobbing"? Really fun game for him - terrible game for me. We were stuck on the Circling Game for FAR too long because I thought I had to get it "perfect" in order to move on. Yeah, that made it far more challenging than it needed to be and definately contributed to the problems I had much later on in my journey.
I should say a little something about my emotional journey at this stage. Well, to put it bluntly, emotional fittness was absolutely non-existant. If I was frustrated, I was very glad to take out all my frustrations on Cloud - and that carrot stick became quite a ferocious weapon. If I had a RB horse, that would have been bad but with a LB horse it wasn't so terrible - he bore it with heart-melting patience and then found another way to annoy me the next day. Really, not fun! And the Circling Game brought out the worst in both of us - my frustration and his schemes.
Parelli is not a horse training program. People get into it to fix their horse problems - I certainly did - but it's not about the horses. All these challenges - all these games - they're not really for the horses. They're ways to teach you to be a better horse person. Horses already know these games - they don't need us to teach them. But by OUR learning the games, we begin to understand where horses are coming from, and how to fix problems as they come up. It's a way of catagorizing horse behaviour and breaking it down into managable ways to solve it. By the time you get to L3 you have the tools to solve most every problem you'll encounter, but it all begins by first changing yourSELF. That is the frustrating part! The first level of Parelli says it's about getting people safe - and to some extent it is - but really what it does is find ways to dig up every single problem you and your horses have and make you deal with them. Horses suddenly become conniving devils - humans suddenly become predatory monkeys and it makes you really resentful and bitter and angry - at least it does on your lowest of days.
Some people get to this stage and quit - saying that it didn't help their horse at all. That's very understandable and - believe me - I thought about quitting more than a couple of times along the way. But if you press on, things start to slowly change for the better. It's sort of like that saying - where you have to completely destroy something in order to fix it again. Parelli does that to people. It takes you down to your lowest of lows - exposes all your problems and emotional weaknesses - and then it starts to help you heal. At least, that's how it worked for me.
Parelli Level One, and especially the circling game, broke me down entirely. I became the worst person I have ever been. I became verbally and physically abusive to my horse, myself and those who suffered to be around me in those dark days. My horse became defiant and dominating. He struck out at me or kicked at me, he absolutely refused to be caught (more on that later), he made being around him a living hell -- at least on the dark days!
Level one is about 70% dark days and 30% bright days - especially if you make it L1 pergatory and stay in it far too long, like I did. Those dark days were terrible and terrifying, but those light days were pure heaven. On those days things just clicked. The sun shone, the birds laughed and my horse and I got along perfectly. He would, all of a sudden, as if in a flash of lightning, "get" what I was asking and we'd have a major breakthrough that left me walking on air for a week! Those moments when he just stood over me, begging for a scratch or a cookie, even when his herd was down the hill and far away. Those moments when he'd hear my whistle, raise his head, and whinny -- I'd never felt that before.
Non-natural riding doesn't really care what the horse is thinking. They have a job, they must do it. Simple as that. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing - it's just the way it is, and it's the way I was used to. I didn't notice, and didn't care if my horse wanted to be with me, or didn't. I wasn't even looking at that when I rode. But the second I started paying attention and WANTING his approval, I started getting feedback - both good and bad - and that feedback was what my emotional journey - and my sanity - was ultimately based upon. It's sort of like high school in the beginning, isn't it?! If he liked me, I was thrilled and I'd go away singing the praises of PNH. If he didn't like me, I was depressed and I'd be in a very low place.
At first I thought his approval was constant - that he always loved me and always would. Then I smartened up and realized it wasn't like that - but I thought it was slightly random, that he just had "good days" and "bad days" and on the good days he liked me and on the bad days he didn't. A bit later in the journey, I realized that I have a big part to play in his attitude towards me - but I didn't quite grasp the full extent of my roll until the first day he stopped letting me catch him in pasture.
I should say a little something about my emotional journey at this stage. Well, to put it bluntly, emotional fittness was absolutely non-existant. If I was frustrated, I was very glad to take out all my frustrations on Cloud - and that carrot stick became quite a ferocious weapon. If I had a RB horse, that would have been bad but with a LB horse it wasn't so terrible - he bore it with heart-melting patience and then found another way to annoy me the next day. Really, not fun! And the Circling Game brought out the worst in both of us - my frustration and his schemes.
Parelli is not a horse training program. People get into it to fix their horse problems - I certainly did - but it's not about the horses. All these challenges - all these games - they're not really for the horses. They're ways to teach you to be a better horse person. Horses already know these games - they don't need us to teach them. But by OUR learning the games, we begin to understand where horses are coming from, and how to fix problems as they come up. It's a way of catagorizing horse behaviour and breaking it down into managable ways to solve it. By the time you get to L3 you have the tools to solve most every problem you'll encounter, but it all begins by first changing yourSELF. That is the frustrating part! The first level of Parelli says it's about getting people safe - and to some extent it is - but really what it does is find ways to dig up every single problem you and your horses have and make you deal with them. Horses suddenly become conniving devils - humans suddenly become predatory monkeys and it makes you really resentful and bitter and angry - at least it does on your lowest of days.
Some people get to this stage and quit - saying that it didn't help their horse at all. That's very understandable and - believe me - I thought about quitting more than a couple of times along the way. But if you press on, things start to slowly change for the better. It's sort of like that saying - where you have to completely destroy something in order to fix it again. Parelli does that to people. It takes you down to your lowest of lows - exposes all your problems and emotional weaknesses - and then it starts to help you heal. At least, that's how it worked for me.
Parelli Level One, and especially the circling game, broke me down entirely. I became the worst person I have ever been. I became verbally and physically abusive to my horse, myself and those who suffered to be around me in those dark days. My horse became defiant and dominating. He struck out at me or kicked at me, he absolutely refused to be caught (more on that later), he made being around him a living hell -- at least on the dark days!
Level one is about 70% dark days and 30% bright days - especially if you make it L1 pergatory and stay in it far too long, like I did. Those dark days were terrible and terrifying, but those light days were pure heaven. On those days things just clicked. The sun shone, the birds laughed and my horse and I got along perfectly. He would, all of a sudden, as if in a flash of lightning, "get" what I was asking and we'd have a major breakthrough that left me walking on air for a week! Those moments when he just stood over me, begging for a scratch or a cookie, even when his herd was down the hill and far away. Those moments when he'd hear my whistle, raise his head, and whinny -- I'd never felt that before.
Non-natural riding doesn't really care what the horse is thinking. They have a job, they must do it. Simple as that. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing - it's just the way it is, and it's the way I was used to. I didn't notice, and didn't care if my horse wanted to be with me, or didn't. I wasn't even looking at that when I rode. But the second I started paying attention and WANTING his approval, I started getting feedback - both good and bad - and that feedback was what my emotional journey - and my sanity - was ultimately based upon. It's sort of like high school in the beginning, isn't it?! If he liked me, I was thrilled and I'd go away singing the praises of PNH. If he didn't like me, I was depressed and I'd be in a very low place.
At first I thought his approval was constant - that he always loved me and always would. Then I smartened up and realized it wasn't like that - but I thought it was slightly random, that he just had "good days" and "bad days" and on the good days he liked me and on the bad days he didn't. A bit later in the journey, I realized that I have a big part to play in his attitude towards me - but I didn't quite grasp the full extent of my roll until the first day he stopped letting me catch him in pasture.
Early stages of our Journey
OK... looking back through my posts on the Forum, I don't have anything from the earliest stages of my journey (they start one year after I started PNH) - so I'll have to try and remember!!
I do remember devouring the DVDs of L1 rapidly and my newbie idealim that everything was going to be sunshine and butterflies just because I watched the DVDs. Ha! No, life wasn't sunshine and roses -- not in the least bit!
The first lesson in L1 is to spend 30 minutes of undemanding time with your horse. That was the first clue to all the other horses in the pasture that I was a nutter! I took a lawn chair out with my carrot stick and just sat down. Didn't pet anyone unless they petted me first, tried not to look at anyone (although in hindsight I'm sure I was exuding pressure!). Cloud was intrigued. He stayed with me nearly the entire time, which I took as evidence that this would be all sunshine and bunnies. Yay! (hehe) He played with my boots, my jacket (there was snow on the ground as I recall), tried to tip the chair over, tried to paw my leg off, tried to bite me, &c. I remembered my body blocks and protected my space adequately and left after thirty minutes convinced that this Parelli stuff would be really easy! And so the roller coaster began!
The thing about roller coasters is that the dips and spins are extremely dramatic to begin with... you go really high, then really low, until as the ride progresses things become more mild. If it were not a theme park - if the coaster was allowed to go on it's natural course, there would come a time when it leveled out completely and had to continue working in order to progress instead of relying on momentum. That is PNH in a nutshell. Really good one day, really, really bad the next and very little moderation in the beginning stages.
So the next day I actually had to catch him (not too big a deal) and halter him up for our first round of the Friendly Game - a process of desensitization. Cloud could have cared less. He's not innately reactive and the things that spook other horses don't seem to phase him in the least. Another positive day - this PNH stuff is cake!
Next day comes (and I sould mention that although I'm saying "day" I really mean week, because this was all before I could drive myself and so I was dependent on rides from parents who only had weekends free. This was also approaching the Holidays and wintertime so I was also limited by the weather and darkness. Next "session" would be more accurate, I suppose.) and we're all set to learn the "Porcupine Game!" Woohoo! Or... not. Here is where I finally realize that maybe PNH isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Mr. Moose will not budge from steady pressure. At ALL. I try it on his face, his chest, his neck, his hindquarters. He gives no indication that he's bothered by me but he refuses to budge. Completely. Refuses. To. Move. Fun. I spent maybe a half hour in pasture trying to figure this out and left completely frustrated and sobbing. I hate Parelli! It doesn't work at all! This sucks! Cried all the way back to the barn (quite a long walk, we were down in the lower field) and most of the way home too.
Next session and porcupine is better. Maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel? I've gotten to the point now where he'll do a couple of half-steps away from the pressure, so long as I make sure I'm up to P4 -- the highest amount of pressure I can manage. We move on to the driving game. He moves his hind end very easily - although we did need a lot of P4s at first. His front end, however, is impossible. Maybe we get a step - maybe - but it's after a half hour of work, frustration and tears - more tears. I swear, I never cried this much until I started Parelli!
A few sessions pass and we're at the point where he's SORT OF listening to me. Better than not at all, I guess...
We're at the putting-games-to-purpose stage, where you teach them to lower their heads and pick up their feet... stuff like that. OK. Another 1/2 hr spent trying (and failing) to get his head down. This absolutely sucks. Go home in tears - again - and absolutely hating Parelli.
Meanwhile, Cloud is having a blast frustrating me! I don't know how many bad habits he picked up in the early stages of my journey - some of them I'm *still* working through - but I do know that he learned v e r y quickly how to get my goat and frustrate me to the point that I gave up. You could almost see him laughing at me! I, of course, wasn't laughing, but that's another matter. Parelli was beginning to be Much Un-Fun.
And to top it all off, I've got these new tools and I'm terriblewith them. You'd think I'd be OK with a halter, but I forgot everything it seemed. This halter tied differently - and you had to lower their head to put it on -- a task I was not good at yet. So that wasn't fun. The lead rope was twice the length of most ropes, and you were supposed to hold it differently. Instead of holding it up by the snap and having the horse walk right next to you, you were supposed to fold the rope about halfway and hold it loosely and walk with your horse far behind you, trusting that he'll follow. Well, he didnt, most of the time!! He learned exactly where that 12' ended and exactly how far away I needed to be so that I was unable to make him move - even with my carrot stick. Oh, yes, the carrot stick. That was an adventure. I'd held lunge whips before - never very well - but this thing was HEAVY and awkward. I could sort of do what I needed to do, but it took so long to make the stick do what I wanted that by the time it did it, I needed it to be doing something else. I was not coordinated to say the least and always found myself getting the stick stuck in the rope and looped around my leg at the most inopportune moment imaginable. Cloud would notice the confusion, laugh at me, and find some hay to munch on while I untangled myself. Then the task would be to get him away from the hay - far easier said than done, I mean he IS 1000lbs of muscle and bulk and worst of all he knows he's that big - never a good sign.
So by now it was pretty safe to say that I hated Parelli! But I didn't hate it enough to quit. We would have these sunny moments occasionally -- he would suddenly "get" the driving the FQ game, or all of a sudden he had a lovely porcupine, or he would nicker to me when he saw me -- and I couldn't just quit. I had to press on.
We moved up to the Yo-Yo game -- another nearly futile game in the beginning. Well, not entirely futile. It was really great for building arm muscles as I hefted a heavy marine braid rope back and forth and back and forth while my horse yawned and laughed at me as he stood, immoblie, six feet away. Yup, that was fun. Ha! But eventually we got it fairly satisfactorally and then moved on.
Unfortunately for me, the next game was the Circling Game... a common pitfall for Left Brain horses. But I didn't actually know that, did I?! See, at this time, PNH was only focusing on Right Brain horses - you know the scared, runaway, somewhat dangerous horses like the one I traded to get this moose. Every DVD, every magazine I received for a good 2-2.5 years covered only right brain horses. All this stuff they have now about LBs was entirely missing from the PNH program when I was in my early stages. I ended up learning it all anyway - but I learned it the hard way, through months upon months of agonizing struggle.
I'm going to break here so anyone reading can have a pee and coffee break... : )
I do remember devouring the DVDs of L1 rapidly and my newbie idealim that everything was going to be sunshine and butterflies just because I watched the DVDs. Ha! No, life wasn't sunshine and roses -- not in the least bit!
The first lesson in L1 is to spend 30 minutes of undemanding time with your horse. That was the first clue to all the other horses in the pasture that I was a nutter! I took a lawn chair out with my carrot stick and just sat down. Didn't pet anyone unless they petted me first, tried not to look at anyone (although in hindsight I'm sure I was exuding pressure!). Cloud was intrigued. He stayed with me nearly the entire time, which I took as evidence that this would be all sunshine and bunnies. Yay! (hehe) He played with my boots, my jacket (there was snow on the ground as I recall), tried to tip the chair over, tried to paw my leg off, tried to bite me, &c. I remembered my body blocks and protected my space adequately and left after thirty minutes convinced that this Parelli stuff would be really easy! And so the roller coaster began!
The thing about roller coasters is that the dips and spins are extremely dramatic to begin with... you go really high, then really low, until as the ride progresses things become more mild. If it were not a theme park - if the coaster was allowed to go on it's natural course, there would come a time when it leveled out completely and had to continue working in order to progress instead of relying on momentum. That is PNH in a nutshell. Really good one day, really, really bad the next and very little moderation in the beginning stages.
So the next day I actually had to catch him (not too big a deal) and halter him up for our first round of the Friendly Game - a process of desensitization. Cloud could have cared less. He's not innately reactive and the things that spook other horses don't seem to phase him in the least. Another positive day - this PNH stuff is cake!
Next day comes (and I sould mention that although I'm saying "day" I really mean week, because this was all before I could drive myself and so I was dependent on rides from parents who only had weekends free. This was also approaching the Holidays and wintertime so I was also limited by the weather and darkness. Next "session" would be more accurate, I suppose.) and we're all set to learn the "Porcupine Game!" Woohoo! Or... not. Here is where I finally realize that maybe PNH isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Mr. Moose will not budge from steady pressure. At ALL. I try it on his face, his chest, his neck, his hindquarters. He gives no indication that he's bothered by me but he refuses to budge. Completely. Refuses. To. Move. Fun. I spent maybe a half hour in pasture trying to figure this out and left completely frustrated and sobbing. I hate Parelli! It doesn't work at all! This sucks! Cried all the way back to the barn (quite a long walk, we were down in the lower field) and most of the way home too.
Next session and porcupine is better. Maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel? I've gotten to the point now where he'll do a couple of half-steps away from the pressure, so long as I make sure I'm up to P4 -- the highest amount of pressure I can manage. We move on to the driving game. He moves his hind end very easily - although we did need a lot of P4s at first. His front end, however, is impossible. Maybe we get a step - maybe - but it's after a half hour of work, frustration and tears - more tears. I swear, I never cried this much until I started Parelli!
A few sessions pass and we're at the point where he's SORT OF listening to me. Better than not at all, I guess...
We're at the putting-games-to-purpose stage, where you teach them to lower their heads and pick up their feet... stuff like that. OK. Another 1/2 hr spent trying (and failing) to get his head down. This absolutely sucks. Go home in tears - again - and absolutely hating Parelli.
Meanwhile, Cloud is having a blast frustrating me! I don't know how many bad habits he picked up in the early stages of my journey - some of them I'm *still* working through - but I do know that he learned v e r y quickly how to get my goat and frustrate me to the point that I gave up. You could almost see him laughing at me! I, of course, wasn't laughing, but that's another matter. Parelli was beginning to be Much Un-Fun.
And to top it all off, I've got these new tools and I'm terriblewith them. You'd think I'd be OK with a halter, but I forgot everything it seemed. This halter tied differently - and you had to lower their head to put it on -- a task I was not good at yet. So that wasn't fun. The lead rope was twice the length of most ropes, and you were supposed to hold it differently. Instead of holding it up by the snap and having the horse walk right next to you, you were supposed to fold the rope about halfway and hold it loosely and walk with your horse far behind you, trusting that he'll follow. Well, he didnt, most of the time!! He learned exactly where that 12' ended and exactly how far away I needed to be so that I was unable to make him move - even with my carrot stick. Oh, yes, the carrot stick. That was an adventure. I'd held lunge whips before - never very well - but this thing was HEAVY and awkward. I could sort of do what I needed to do, but it took so long to make the stick do what I wanted that by the time it did it, I needed it to be doing something else. I was not coordinated to say the least and always found myself getting the stick stuck in the rope and looped around my leg at the most inopportune moment imaginable. Cloud would notice the confusion, laugh at me, and find some hay to munch on while I untangled myself. Then the task would be to get him away from the hay - far easier said than done, I mean he IS 1000lbs of muscle and bulk and worst of all he knows he's that big - never a good sign.
So by now it was pretty safe to say that I hated Parelli! But I didn't hate it enough to quit. We would have these sunny moments occasionally -- he would suddenly "get" the driving the FQ game, or all of a sudden he had a lovely porcupine, or he would nicker to me when he saw me -- and I couldn't just quit. I had to press on.
We moved up to the Yo-Yo game -- another nearly futile game in the beginning. Well, not entirely futile. It was really great for building arm muscles as I hefted a heavy marine braid rope back and forth and back and forth while my horse yawned and laughed at me as he stood, immoblie, six feet away. Yup, that was fun. Ha! But eventually we got it fairly satisfactorally and then moved on.
Unfortunately for me, the next game was the Circling Game... a common pitfall for Left Brain horses. But I didn't actually know that, did I?! See, at this time, PNH was only focusing on Right Brain horses - you know the scared, runaway, somewhat dangerous horses like the one I traded to get this moose. Every DVD, every magazine I received for a good 2-2.5 years covered only right brain horses. All this stuff they have now about LBs was entirely missing from the PNH program when I was in my early stages. I ended up learning it all anyway - but I learned it the hard way, through months upon months of agonizing struggle.
I'm going to break here so anyone reading can have a pee and coffee break... : )
Introduction to the Blog
Although I've been doing PNH for three and a half years now, I've never formally recorded my journey. I've posted a lot on the Parelli Savvy Club Forum website but am starting to worry that I'll loose some of those posts and then I'll be left with no written traces of my journey, hence the creation of this blog!I started PNH as a scared-out-of-my-mind, semi green, 15 year old kid. I had previously owned a teenaged OTTB gelding named Johnny Boy who was, in his way, a real sweetie. We did a lot of Dressage and Jumping and I loved my lessons and riding him. That is, until he started bucking. You see, we had done all that dressage and turned him into a real horse... super muscled... but we had forgotten to change out his saddle until it was too late. And by too late, I mean him throwing 5' bucks every time we trotted or cantered, with very little change. By the time we figured it out, his bucking had become habitual and I was getting more terrified every time I rode. Months went by, Johnny still bucking constantly, until the fateful day when I fell off. It was all in slow motion - going up a good 9' in the air and coming down, hard, on my back, not 10" from a wooden post. Like a good rider, I got right back on, but I never rode that horse again after that. Nothing was physically injured, but mentally I was a wreck. I was terrifed to even see Johnny - a fear that was compounded by his new habit of rearing on anyone who came near... a habit that nearly got me kicked out of my barn. We paid my trainer to go and lunge him frequently but I stayed very far away. Finally I agreed to sell him but after lots of advertising, we had no bites (gee, wonder why!). Months passed. While he was for sale, a team of horse people scheduled to come to a town not 10 minutes away and do what they called a "tour stop." I had heard of these people from a magazine I subscribed to and was interested in going. Their name was Parelli.
That was the day I realized there was a better way. Linda told her story and it was
exactly like mine -- big crazy TB who scared her to death, now rendered perfectly gentle and docile just by following this program. It seemed like the perfect solution for someone at the end of her rope and willing to try ANYTHING so that I didn't have to quit horses. They were coming back in November for Equine Affaire and I decided I would go and see them then and buy a Savvy Club membership and my L1 pack.Meanwhile, Johnny still hadn't sold. As great as I realized this Parelli stuff could be, I knew I couldn't do it with that horse. He was too challenging, too fast and too scary. He had to go. I ended up taking him to a large barn that bought and sold horses - the very same barn at which I learned to ride as a child. When I called them up and said I was looking for a horse, they said they had just the one for me. I went to visit and found this little grey paint with a lightning bolt on his nose and I knew he was absolutely perfect. He was the exact opposite of Johnny - instead of sleek, athletic, fast, English, Cloud (as I later called him) was built like a truck, slower than molassas and very western. He was exactly what I needed!
I bought him in June, a month before his 5th birthday. He was a moose. Johnny was uber sensitive; Cloud was uber dull! He very quickly earned the nickname "Bullwinkle" because he pushed hi
s way around like a moose - but he was so cute about it. Cute or not, it was dangerous. I rode a little bit that summer; Cloud's dullness comforted me - at least I knew he wouldn't run away. And that he certainly wouldn't. But his dullness became a problem in and of itself. I could b a r e l y stop him with a Tom Thumb and curb -- and even then it was a fight -- and he had extremely few stearing abilities. He was deathly afraid of water and if we ran across a puddle on the trail he would not go through it without two horses in front pulling and two behind pushing. He would rather crash through the fence in the arena than turn the corner.. and he had a lot of opposition reflex. If I asked him to go right, he went left - to go, he stopped. But he kept me safe, and I appreciated that.Equine Affaire came, finally, and I spent four days learning more about this Parelli stuff. We went to every session, and visited their booth after each one. Along with every other fan and person there, I put my name into the raffle, certain I wouldn't win anything - but I was going to try anyway! I didn't win the L3 mega pack, or the trip to Colorado, or even the L1 pack -- but much to my surprise I did win the very thing I had planned to sign up for... a Savvy Club membership for a full year! We took it as a sign and the moment the weekend ended, I called PNH HQ and bought my L2 pack along with all the equipment - plus an extra carrot stick just in case. I joined the Forum almost immediately - lurked far more than I posted - and started getting myself ingrained into this whole Parelli thing.
I was in for one hell of a ride!
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