A Word or Twelve about "Normals"

Well, this is about where my posting on the Forum began, and I see I was deep into the thickets of frustration with and (I'm ashamed to say) hatred for anyone who did not do Parelli. For anyone reading this that was around me during those times... I want to formally apologise (well, I guess not "formally" since I'm writing this on a blog and not saying this to your face - but if you know who you are, I'm sorry!)



There is a period in every adolescents life (and I mean this not only as it regards age - because I was technically an adolescent at that time - but also as it regards learning new things. When it comes to learning something new, just as with life, one goes through a baby stage, an adolescent stage, an adult stage and finally an elder stage -- where one learns the rudiments of the thing, believes he/she is better than everyone else, settles into the their niche and becomes comfortable, and then finally becomes an expert or at least someone knowledgeable enough to share advice and wisdom) where they believe they know everything in the world - and especially that they know it better than their parents and elders. Looking back on it, I know how absolutely wrong I was and I feel deep chagrin for my lack of emotional fitness and my words and actions, but at the time I was an adolescent - both in age and in Parelli knowledge - and I though I knew what I was saying! Since this is a recollection of that time in my life, I will record what I was feeling then, as I was feeling it, but I must preface with my sincere apologies!!



A Parelli student's journey to emotional fittness is littered with frustration! There is especially a lot of frustration towards those people who do not do Parelli (people often labled "normals", a term I presently dislike, but used with vigor several years ago). There is a real and perceived dissonnance and animosity between those who do Parelli and those who don't, and in the early stages of one's journey, when one is unsure of what she is doing and extremely self concious, that animosity is a welcomed outlet for our frustrations. After all, nothing is ever our fault - it's always the fault of those around us who don't like us -- right?!


Well, that's how my train of thought went back then!


Some of it was not unfounded. Especially three years ago, when I started, Natural Horsemanship was not very well know and it was nowhere near as popular as it is today. People just didn't understand what you were doing on the ground and not riding - and to a certain extend that is true today as well. That is a fairly normal (not Normal!) concern, however, as all traditional horsemanship -- with the exception of unstarted youngsters -- happens on the backs of these mighty steeds. But as an uncomfortable and self-concious adolescent, I took this animosity and really expanded upon it.


I wanted to be TOWANDA, the avenger! Everything wrong in the horse world today could be solved with Parelli, every horse problem in the world was the fault of the owner for not doing Parelli, I refused to go to shows or hang out with non-naturals because they were stupid and abusive to their horses. And, yes, I actually believed this. I would come home and vent to my parents about how stupid people who don't do Parelli are and I know I turned a LOT of people off Parelli in my early stages because of my arrogance and insolence.


It took a while to figure it out, but I eventually realized that the old addage is right: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (though what anyone would want with a whole bunch of flies is beyond me! lol). I did realize eventually that my attitudes where hurtful, not helpful and I eventually shut up around other people (thought I still did far too much whining and venting around my parents and on the Forum) and decided to teach by example instead of by preaching and throwing words around. It was much more effective!


To anyone reading this that is new to the journey, please remember that even in times when you swear no one's watching or listening - they are. Especially because you're doing something different and slightly unpopular. And often times (this is true particularly on message boards and the Internet, but is also true in some circles of real life) they are waiting for you to act like an idiot and start spewing your fanatical PNH dogma (lol) so they can cream you for it. It's not worth it. For every one person you may "convert" you're likely to turn ten more people off. Lead by example. Stay passively persistant in the proper position. Be silent. Maintain (or grow) some emotional fittness and keep quiet even in situations where you want to speak up. Of course, speak at the proper times, but maintain your cool and stay emotionally fit. It's hard - but I promise this works FAR better than going off on "normals". Really!


Usually by the end of L2 and the beginning of L3 we've gathered enough emotional fittness to be able to talk about Parelli respectfully. The good news is that by that time we actually have the skills to back up what we say! It's really easy to believe that Parelli works when you're doing freestyle bridless work, or playing at liberty with extreme connection... and it's really hard to believe it works when you see someone barely into L2 flailing around and getting tripped up in the 22' line!! But, again, that's just my experience.



So to all of you who I offended in my early days, if you're reading this, I hope you accept my deepest apologies!